You meet a girl you find attractive and you express your desire for her. But instead of her being receptive to your advances and showing interest back, she seems rather aloof.
Or she was already receptive to your advances… you’ve kissed a couple of times and even gone as far as to third base. Everything was fine from the beginning. But now she seems uninterested and acting as if you’ve done something wrong.
Is she playing hard to get or just not interested in you?
From the looks of things, you can tell she is definitely playing hard to get.
Now, how do you react?
How do you deal with a girl playing hard to get?
In this article, I share with you how to deal with a girl playing hard to get.
But before I get to it, you first have to know the reasons why a girl or woman plays hard to get.
Why girls or women play hard to get
Why is she playing hard to get?
Women or girls play hard to get for three simple reasons:
- they don’t want to be perceived as easy… therefore, if you work hard to get her, then she is valuable.
- they want to be sure if a guy is really interested in them. If a guy goes to the trouble to have her, then he really loves her.
- they are used to guys DESPERATELY pursuing them… so they play hard to get PURPOSELY to control the guys to their own advantage.
With these three reasons in mind, how should you deal with women or girls playing hard to get… read on.
Women know instinctively when a guy WANTS them.
And as soon as it becomes evident to them, most of them are likely to start playing hard to get.
Because they know they have something that men want… and therefore, they will make us work hard to get it.
Now, the question is… when the girl you desire plays hard to get with you, what do you do?
1. Should you pursue her?
2. Give up and find another girl who will be “easy to get”?
Now, let’s take a look at both options.
When you pursue a girl…
…you give her exactly what she wants – the chase.
When girls play hard, they want you to chase them.
Yes, it makes sense to pursue her… because, she is very attractive, and you were lucky to get her, and you wouldn’t want to risk losing her.
You would want to buy her things and spend money on her to show her that you value her and are really interested in her.
You would want to do whatever she says and give her whatever she asks for.
Now, for whatever reason a girl might have to play hard to get, you risk being manipulated.
Because you will be giving her ultimate control over you. And not only can she control you to her advantage, she is likely to play hard to get to a greater extent, making you work HARDER, do everything she wants, and give her whatever she asks for… including spending tons of money on her to get her approval.
Desperately pursuing a girl or a woman gives her ultimate control over you.
When you give up and move on…
…you risk losing a girl who may be the right girl for you.
Sure, when a girl is playing hard to get and it’s too much for you, you have an option to give up and find another girl who wouldn’t play hard to get with you.
After all, why bother investing your time, energy, and money, pursuing a girl or a woman who’s giving you a tough time, and may not even be the right girl for you.
But like I mentioned earlier… she might be playing hard to get because she doesn’t want to be perceived as easy and she wants to come across as a ‘hard to get girl’. Or she’s probably making sure to see if you’re really interested in her… and therefore, if you give up and move on, you risk losing a great girl.
Both options make sense… but there’s a better way
Now, if the above two options are not the best approach to dealing with a girl or a woman playing hard to get, then what is a guy to do?
How do you deal with a girl or a woman playing hard to get?
Play hard to get yourself.
In other words, use her own game back at her. [Read how to play hard to get with a girl]
Play hard to get with her too, but do it in a SUBTLE manner.
Subtle, in the sense that you don’t want to make noticeable your intentions… you need to nonverbally communicate to her that, by nature, you’re not obsessed with women, and thus, you don’t chase women.
Why playing hard to get yourself is the best option
It’s a tendency for most guys to pursue a girl or a woman when she is playing hard to get with them… but unlikely for a guy to give up and move on.
But as I mentioned earlier, when you pursue a girl or a woman when she plays hard to get, you give away your control and she can easily manipulate you, or control you to her advantage.
When you give up, you risk losing a girl who may be the right girl for you.
However, when you use her own game back at her – when you play hard to get yourself – you stand out in an ATTRACTIVE way and you separate yourself from the other guys she meets.
Not only will she find you unique and interesting, but it turns the table and she will be the one chasing you. Or more precisely, you maintain control, reverse the roles and she will be the one chasing you because you have something she WANTS… the ‘Attractive You’.
Related Article: How to Make Her Want You More (VIDEO)
So this is what to do when a girl or a woman plays hard to get
Instead of pursuing a girl who is playing hard to get or giving up and finding another girl, this is how to go about it:
When a girl is playing hard to get, withdraw and act as if you don’t need her. [Read ‘This Absurd But Proven Tactic Makes Any Girl Want You So Bad’]
(Truth: You need her, but you don’t want to seem needy or desperate and give her control over you.)
She will be expecting you to pursue her, doing whatever she wants and caving to her demands… but choose not to. In other words, act contrary to her expectations.
Give her the impression that you’re not obsessed with her, and therefore you’re not going to pursue her. If she doesn’t want you, you can find another girl who does.
(You need to give her the impression that she’s not the only attractive girl you can get.)
Even if you’ve expressed your desire for her, and now she’s playing hard to get, convey to her that the fact that you find her attractive and expressed your desire for her doesn’t mean you’re going to DESPERATELY pursue her.
This sends a powerful message about how VALUABLE you are. And she is going to find you unique and interesting.
- The #1 Trait that Attracts Women and How to Demonstrate It
- Why Taking the Risk to Anger a Girl Is the Best Way to Make Her Feel a Strong Attraction for You
Make her miss you, and want you very much
The next step to SUBTLY playing hard to get and somewhat pretending as if you DON’T need the girl is to make yourself scarce or unavailable.
Once you convey to her you’re not going to DESPERATELY pursue her, make her feel the ache of your absence…
…make her miss you, wonder what you’re doing, and think about you.
You see, when you’re always available and hang out with the girl every day, she gets the impression that she’s got your interest already. And as a result, plays hard to get.
But, you need to nonverbally communicate to her that your world doesn’t revolve around her, by making yourself unavailable.
So instead of hanging out with her every day, go out and engage in other activities.
Enjoy your hobbies, hang out with your buddies, join a cooking class, etc. [Read ‘The Powerful Way to Build Attraction with A Girl You Have a Crush On’]
There are two advantages to making yourself unavailable:
- It will help you overcome the torture of HAVING her… thinking about her all day.
- She will be afraid of losing you to another girl. And therefore, will withdraw her decision to play hard to get with you.
Don’t go overboard or make yourself too unavailable… that is, playing too hard to get.
Plus, you don’t want to give the girl the impression you’re no more interested in her. You just want to convey to her you have options other than pursuing her. [Read ‘The Dating Misconception That Unfortunately Makes Girls Lose Interest in a Guy’]
So you need to make her feel your presence once in a while, to give her the impression that you’re not obsessing over her.
There is a likelihood for a girl or a woman to play hard to get with you when she realizes you’re interested in her.
But if you don’t desperately pursue her and you act as if you don’t need her, you send a powerful message about how valuable you are.
Now, provided you have attractive MANLY qualities that she can’t resist, in addition to NOT desperately chasing her, she will feel a strong attraction for you and will be the one chasing you instead. [Read ‘Personality Traits Girls Find Attractive In A Guy’ and ‘How to Be Attractive to Girls’].
…when the girl or woman you desire plays hard to get with you, DON’T desperately pursue her… doing everything she wants, and giving her whatever she asks for.
Instead, act as if you don’t need her… and use her own game back at her.
Now understand this… when playing hard to get with a girl or a woman, don’t completely ignore her. Still remain friends and hang out like nothing has changed between the two of you. Only now you act as if she’s a mere friend and you have no romantic designs for her.
So, there you have it… why women or girls play hard to get and how to deal with it.
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