“Your availability to a woman will contribute to her feelings of attraction.” – Carlos Xuma.
It’s a natural tendency for us guys to be obsessing over a girl we have a crush on.
We hang out with her every day and call her day and night trying hard to create attraction.
But what you probably don’t know is that DESPERATELY pursuing a girl or being too available can ruin the attraction you’re trying to create.
Yes, when you meet an attractive girl, it becomes hard to NOT think about her.
But the truth is, when you obsess over a girl or devote 100% of your time and attention to her, you display a very needy and desperate attitude. And if you didn’t know by now, this is one of the quickest ways to lose her.
Sure, you’d want to create an attraction. But at the same time, you’d also want to convey to her you have other OPTIONS in life other than pursuing her.
And a great way to do this is to lead a busy and fun lifestyle. (There are two advantages to this, and you’re going to discover them in this article.)
A busy and fun lifestyle equals attraction
A busy and fun lifestyle in the sense that, you want to NONVERBALLY communicate to a girl you BUSILY engage in fun and exciting activities other than clinging to girls.
This way you stand out from the other guys she meets and convey to her you’re an attractive guy.
Now, the question is… how would a girl notice you when you’re NOT pursuing her?
Or more accurately, how would a girl fall for you when you’re not giving her the ‘time and attention’ she needs?
…because girls want to have fun.
Girls are extremely and naturally attracted to guys who lead a fun and exciting lifestyle. And a girl will be more attracted to you if she thinks you are fun to be around.
Making yourself unavailable
When you’re too available and cling to a girl, she gets the impression that she has got your interest already. And that’s when she begins to manipulate you and play hard to get.
But if you’re NOT readily available yet you’ve managed to build rapport with her with your attractive personality (read the personality traits girls find attractive in a guy), she’ll get the impression you’re not the kind of guy who clings to girls.
That is, you become a good catch and irresistible. And she WILL be the one pursuing you.
As dating expert John Alexander has written:
“By not always being available, you will raise your value.”
“It’s a fundamental part of human psychology that we tend to assign a higher value to things that aren’t readily available.”
Unlike the lower status guy who’s always available and desperately at a girl’s beck and call, in the hopes that the girl falls in love with him, you come across as different. Because you’re displaying higher value by letting her know that you’re not a guy who will cling to her and be at her beck and call.
So how do you separate yourself from other guys and build attraction quickly with the girl you like?
How to build attraction with a girl
So instead of being readily available in desperate hopes that the girl you have a crush on falls head over heels for you, go out and engage in fun and exciting activities.
- Hang out with your friends and enjoy your favorite activities
- Enjoy your hobbies – hiking, skydiving, tennis, sports
- Go cruising in the Caribbean
- Take a cooking or dance lessons
- Do some volunteer work
DON’T sit around giving your crush the impression you have nothing better to do. Go out and start doing things.
…you even get interesting things to talk about with a girl
When your life is fun and interesting, not only do you draw girls to you, but you also get tons of things to talk about with a girl.
Understand: Girls are emotional people. And they crave emotional conversations. And that means, talking about yourselves and your daily experiences. In another respect, talking about the things you enjoy doing.
So, in addition to talking about your favorite TV shows and celebrities. You can also talk about the interesting and exciting things that happened to you over the week.
Talk about the cool things you saw or did – the skydiving you performed and how exciting and fun that was. You then ask her if she’s had a similar experience, and get her to share hers too. Leading to an EXTENDED emotional conversation.
Not only will she also start talking about similar stuff she experienced, but she will start to imagine what it is like to be part of your life. This will draw her to you, and she will want to hang out with you more. Because, as I mentioned earlier, girls want to have fun. And will be more attracted to you if they think you are fun to be around.
When your life is fun and interesting, you get tons of things to talk about with a girl.
Girls are used to guys putting them on a pedestal. Including clinging and being at their beck and call.
So instead of desperately pursuing a girl you have a crush on, engage in some fun and exciting activities, such as enjoying your hobbies. Giving her the impression that you’re not the kind of guy who clings to girls because you have other options in life other than chasing girls.
If she sees that she doesn’t have your full attention, despite her attractiveness, she will find you very attractive.
And especially when you’ve managed to build rapport with her with your attractive personality, you become a good catch and irresistible. And this will turn the tables, and she will be the one pursuing you instead.
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