A Mistaken Belief People Have About Dating (What Dating Actually Is)


Many people have the wrong idea about dating.

They think that dating is solely about sex… to them, their biggest priority when it comes to dating is that of sex.

In a sense, they define dating as meeting someone new, going out to the movies and dinner, having sex.

But personally, I see dating as something different than merely going out and getting into bed with someone.

To me, dating isn’t defined by what you do with a person in the bedroom. To me, it’s much simpler than that.

What dating is supposed to be

Dating, boiled to its core, is all about screening each other for suitability or to see if the person fit our ideal person… and more importantly, establishing an emotional connection and strengthening that connection through meaningful activities other than sex.

Dating is supposed to be fun, with the aim of getting a partner for the future.

Emotional connection and compatibility are the building blocks of any lasting relationship that will lead to marriage.

Without some type of connection and compatibility to another human being, a lasting and loving relationship cannot exist…

…and indeed, this has nothing to do with sex.

For one person to truly know and understand another, they must establish a deeper connection with the other person…

…that is where dating comes in.

They must spend more time outside, experiencing life together.

They must have meaningful conversations, including their fears, goals, passion, and whatnot.

They must show interest in the things they both like or enjoy.

They must do chores together.

And finally, they must get spiritual… that is, have a good relationship with God.

The more connected you’re with a person, the more positive emotions you experience around that person.

A powerful and deep connection makes the other person feel happy, comfortable and attracted to you.

Everything else – having sex, making babies, building a family – is after you’ve made a final decision to settle down with that person.

In short, dating someone has NOTHING to do with sex but EVERYTHING to do with knowing if the person you’re dating is the right person for you.

Sex shouldn’t be an integral part of dating…

…most especially, in the early stages.

Sure, we cannot rule sex out of dating… but in my view, we shouldn’t make sex the main priority when it comes to dating.

You don’t have to be running around having sex with every person you meet and date.

I understand that sex is a basic human need… it’s something we desire and crave, and must do.

I also understand that at a certain point with the person you love, if you want to take things to the next level, sex is going to be involved…

…of course.

But save the sex when you genuinely know the person is the right person for you.

…because once you introduce sex into the relationship, it’s a done deal (if you know what I mean).

Friendship should ALWAYS follow

Yes, when dating someone, see that person as a friend you’re looking to someday be in a romantic relationship with when things go well.

Don’t try to bypass the hard work of screening the person properly and establishing a connection with them before you allow sex to enter into the relationship…

…because once sex is the priority when dating someone, you set yourself up for heartbreak, despair, and any number of other negative emotions.

So getting to know someone is NOT about getting in bed with that person.


Sex is supposed to be special and only with the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

So instead of jumping into bed with every person, you are supposedly dating, strive to get to know the other person… screen them to see if they fit your ideal person.

Dating is all about knowing the other person and screening them to see if they are a perfect fit for you…

…nothing else matters when it comes to dating but that.

Women, leave the sex out of the dating-equation… when dating a guy your goal is to get to know the guy, so that when things don’t work out you don’t get heartbroken or feel used.

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