When it comes to dating, mistakes are bound to happen.
There are mistakes that are inevitable but insignificant to notice.
There are mistakes you will have to make in order to learn and succeed… these mistakes are easier to recover from.
But there is a particular mistake that is nearly impossible to recover from.
If there’s one mistake that can ruin your chances of succeeding with girls or women, then this mistake is.
This mistake is a granddaddy of all mistakes.
This mistake can make you suffer through years of blue balls.
What mistake am I talking about here?
It’s… being too much of a friend to a woman.
What do I mean by this?
This is when you have romantic feelings for a woman… and you orbit around her day in day out, hoping she will fall in love with you and eventually score with her.
You call her up on phone, you hang out with her every day, and then engage in conversations that have no ‘spark’… uninspiring, predictable and boring.
You follow her agenda, defer to her to make decisions, and then kiss up to her because you are afraid of doing something that will upset her and cause her to dislike you.
You present yourself as a ‘nice guy’ and do things and favors for her in order to stay at her good side.
You play it safe and act apologetic whenever you upset her.
You respect her too much to make a move because you don’t want her to think of you as a pervert.
And all in all, you’re afraid of trying anything that will make a woman think you are trying to get into her pants.
You’re thinking that…
…if you become a woman’s best friend, she will fall for you and eventually score with her.
You’re thinking that if the girl or the woman gets to know you better, you will have a better shot of getting intimate with her.
Well, it doesn’t work that way.
Even if you ‘get lucky’ over the course of time, then it’s because the woman is already attracted to you in some way. Or probably she’s a woman with low self-esteem.
…it’s a huge mistake to be ‘friends’ with a woman
By being ‘a friend’ to a woman or a girl, you remove any possibility of romance and intimacy…
…your failure to progress toward seduction will make you lose the initiative to cause the woman to feel an attraction for you.
What do I mean by this?
By being ‘a friend’, that means you’re playing it safe and you’re NOT doing the things that will make the woman feel attracted to you.
And since you’re afraid to also make a move, you will fail to amplify her attraction to you.
Really, why is it a mistake to be a woman’s ‘friend’?
If you’re not having a conversation that turns a woman on and gets her thinking about s*x with you…
…if you’re not flirting with her.
If you’re not touching her in an intimate way…
…you’re only being ‘a friend’.
And being ‘a friend’ ain’t gonna make a woman find you attractive… it’s not even close to triggering a woman’s feeling of attraction for you.
So in conclusion, your friendly gestures won’t cause a woman to experience that tingly feeling inside her and down her groin to make her want to have a romantic relationship with you. And worse, you will build up too much comfort with her to the extent that she will feel uncomfortable getting intimate with you.
This, in the end, automatically drops you down into the permanent “just friends” category.
The only reward you’re going to get is a kiss on the cheek… that is when you do something extraordinary for her.
Friendship is inevitable
Of course, you’re going to befriend a girl you meet initially.
And probably you might want to know the girl first before you get involved with her.
It’s even advisable to approach women with the mindset of being friends first… because not only will it help you find out what kind of person she is and if she’s worth pursuing, but above all else, it helps you overcome approach anxiety and the fear of rejection.
Now, the pitfall is staying friends for too long without progressing toward seduction… especially when you’re looking to takes things into the romantic arena.
Don’t make the mistake of being too much of ‘a friend’ with a girl.
Read More: How to Not Fall in Love
So what is a guy to do?
If you’re looking to have a romantic relationship with a woman, then being her ‘friend’ is not the way to go. [Read: ‘Why You Shouldn’t Be Friends with A Girl You Find Attractive’]
The best way to go about having a woman fall in love with you is to do things that will make her feel a strong attraction for you.
Do the following:
#1 – Starting out with your conversational style
Connect with her on an emotional level and have her feel an emotional feeling of attraction for you.
By taking an interest in her life.
Get her to talk about herself then find out the topics and issues that interest her, stories and issues she finds fascinating, her likes, ambitions, goals, passion, and whatnot.
In short, get to know who she is and what she’s about… then explore and exploit it. In other words, let her interests be your interests and be excited by the things she’s excited by. [Read: ‘How to Talk to a Woman’ and ‘A Simple and Powerful Way to Connect with a Woman on a Deep Emotional Level’]
Next, gradually transition into talking about s*x or topics of se*ual nature.
Not only do women love talking about s*x, but more importantly, you immediately distinguish and differentiate yourself from guys she hangs out with.
Plus, it also makes your interaction interesting and alluring… and it makes her think about s*x with you.
#2 – Enjoy the outdoors to build up her attraction for you
Girls wanna have fun… and you can capitalize on this to build up any attraction she has for you.
Go somewhere and do something fun and interesting with her.
Go to different exciting places (most specifically, places of interest) then engage in interesting and memorable activities and have a good time together. [Read: ‘A Simple But Overlooked Tip that Builds Attraction with a Girl Quickly’]
Hold hands as you maximize the time you spend together.
Now, if things are going well and you can tell she’s attracted to you or into you, then move forward toward a seduction… which takes us to the next step.
#3 – Flirt with her to amplify the attraction
Here, use touch to make it clear to the woman that you have a romantic interest in her. [Read: ‘How to Touch a Girl or a Woman for The First Time and Afterward’ and ‘If You Can Do This to a Woman without Getting Slapped, She’s Ready to Be Kissed’]
Keep Reading: How to Be Attractive to Girls or Women
The end results
Once a woman picks up on the fact that you’re interested in her, and more importantly you boldly act on your desire for her, she will make it easier for you to get intimate with her. In other words, she will give you noticeable signals to get intimate. [Read: ‘How to Tell If a Girl Is Interested in You’]
Even if you’re not looking forward to getting intimate with a woman any sooner, having her feel a strong desire for you will ensure that you stand out and position yourself in her mind as a potential lover.
Remember, you’re in competition with other guys over a woman…
…hence the need to quickly surpass the ‘friendship’ and have the woman feel attracted to you as quickly as possible. [Read: ‘How to Get Girls When You Don’t Have the Male-Model Good Looks’]
Whether you like it or not… there are going to be other guys after ‘your’ woman, GUARANTEED.
So you would want to have her feel attracted to you at the very beginning… and keep her attraction soaring.
You need to stand out, make yourself attractive and desirable and have the woman feel a strong attraction for you.
Because if you don’t, she’s going to fall for another guy… and you’re going to remain as friends forever. [Read: ‘Personality Traits Women Find Most Attractive in a Guy’]
Important stuff to know – the men women seek out
Women expect men to make the first move. And most women, if not all, don’t show their interest in a man until they can tell the man is into them…
…so you have to do things that will make her feel a strong attraction for you (not being her ‘friend’), then progress toward seduction.
A woman won’t make things easy for you when you don’t display any sign that you’re interested in her beyond friendship.
In other words, a woman won’t give you a signal to kiss her or make a move if you don’t display interest on your part.
Sooner or later your demeanor will betray your true intention and the woman will sense it…
…she will know exactly what’s going on.
The failure to act on your desire for her will expose you – that you’re afraid and you’re hiding behind the ‘friendship’ to seek her approval.
Unfortunately for you, she won’t do anything about it… she will only pity you and watch you waste your time day after day while the chance of getting intimate with her disappears. (Heck! A woman has lots of men pursuing her she can have any man she wants.)
The longer you’re being ‘a friend’, the more any chance of getting intimate with her disappears.
Sure, she might play hard to get when you show interest in her (and that’s a good indicator she’s into you)… but nevertheless, progress toward seduction.
- 7 Signs That Indicate a Girl Is Playing Hard to Get
- Why Girls Play Hard to Get
- What to Do When a Girl Plays Hard to Get
Again, as I mentioned earlier, when it comes to dating friendship is inevitable… you’re going to befriend a woman you meet initially.
And it is okay to be friends with a woman.
You can and should be friends with a woman you desire… but make sure you don’t get stuck in the ‘friendship’ realm.
When you meet a woman you desire and you would want to get into a romantic relationship with her, make yourself attractive and desirable then progress toward seduction.
If you fail to act on your desire for a woman, she will think that you’re not interested in her and she will categorize you as just a friend in her mind… which will eliminate any urgency for intimacy, and thus wind up in the friend zone.
So again, when you meet a woman you desire, make yourself attractive and desirable then progress toward seduction.
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