Starting a conversation with a girl is essentially the beginning of having any form of relationship you want with her.
When you meet a girl you like and would want to be her friend or date her, you will have to talk to her…
…and start it off RIGHT.
In this article, I share with you how to start a conversation with a girl and make her receptive and responsive to you.
Let’s get started.
Before You Start Dating, Read This…
Before we begin, note this…
When you meet a girl and you start a conversation with her, it’s best to NOT telegraph interest in her…
…because you don’t want to put her in a defensive mood and make your interaction with her harder than it needs to be.
Defensive mood, meaning, she will be unresponsive because she will assume you’re picking up on her to get some her into bed.
Sure, there’re instances – like meeting a girl at a party or singles event – where she will have a clue why you approached her…
…but meeting a girl in a random situation – like on the bus, at school, on the street, at the shopping mall, and whatnot – it’s best to start a conversation with her without letting her know you’re interested in her. This way, you will make her more receptive to talking to you and responsive.
Girls put up a defensive attitude when…
…a guy approaches them with an obvious sign of interest.
Most girls will even act bitchy to make themselves superior over the guy.
Again, this attitude from her will make your interaction with her harder. [Read: ‘Why Girls Behave the Way They Do’]
So when you see a girl you like and would want to talk to her, DO NOT telegraph interest in her… be indifferent to her. [Read: ‘This Absurd But Proven Tactic Makes Any Girl Want You So Bad’]
The less she thinks you’re talking to her out of interest, the lower her guard will be… and the higher your chances of getting her.
That being said…
…there’re simple ways to start a conversation with a girl that does not telegraph interest.
Let’s get to it.
Read: ‘How to Meet Girls’ and ‘How to Approach a Girl’
Also Read: ‘3 Crazy Things Girls Do to Get Guys to Approach Them’
When you meet a girl for the first time, it’s best not to telegraph your interest in her to avoid putting her in a defensive mood.
How to start a conversation with a girl
You can:
- notice something interesting or unique about her to comment on
- make a comment about whatever is happening at the moment
- make a suggestion or contribute input on whatever she’s doing
- ask her a generic question or ask her opinion or her (female) perspective on something
- be direct and straightforward… “Hi”
So after spotting a girl and you would like to talk to her, observe her situation and use any of the above conversation starters to start a conversation with her.
The first 4 approaches get a girl to be receptive and responsive to you… because it doesn’t telegraph your interest in her – for all she knows you’re just inquiring about something.
Girls are so used to guys approaching them on a regular basis that any obvious hint of interest from you will put a girl in a defensive mood or she will blow you off instantly.
Now, let’s go into detail on how to start a conversation with a girl using any of the five approaches.
Before You Approach a Girl for a Date, Read This…
#1 – Noticing something interesting or unique about her to comment on
…like her necklace, a bracelet, the distinct handbag or purse she’s got, or even the inscription on her shirt can serve as a conversation starter.
Supposedly she’s got an interesting tattoo on her body…
…smile and say something like…
- “Cool tattoo… what’s the story behind it?” [What led her to get that tattoo]
She will smile back and tell you why she got that tattoo.
Talk about it for a while, then segue into taking an interest in her. [Read: ‘How to Talk to Girls’ and ‘How to Keep a Conversation Going’]
Here’s also another example that has to do with necklaces, bracelets, handbags, and purses girls like to wear and carry around with them:
- “That’s a nice/interesting necklace/bracelet/jacket/purse… my sister/a female friend of mine likes a [mention the item] like this. Where did you get it?”
- “That’s a nice/interesting necklace/bracelet/purse… my sister’s/a female friend’s birthday is coming up, and I think she’d like something like this. Where did you get it?”
She will tell you where she got it – either she bought it or someone gifted it to her – the fact is, girls like to talk a lot about things like these (fashion stuff) and she will be eager to help you get one for whoever you want to get one for.
Talk about it for a while, then segue into taking an interest in her. [Read: ‘Things and Topics to Talk About with a Girl’]
Moving on…
So here, you’re merely asking and it doesn’t telegraph your interest in her.
This approach works well with girls you meet on the street and in other public venues.
She will respond to you when you show genuine interest in it…
…talk about it for a while, then gradually transition to a more engaging conversation.
Hint: Girls dress nice and put on nice things to invoke admiration… so noticing her efforts and taking a genuine interest in them will not only make her feel good but will make her responsive because she will want to talk about it.
Girls dress nice and put on nice things to invoke admiration, use that to start a conversation with her.
#2 – Making a comment about whatever is happening at the moment
For instance, if you see a girl at an event – musical, fairs, and whatnot – and you would want to strike up a conversation with her, make a comment about what’s happening or what someone is doing then try to pull her into a conversation.
When you’re in a shopping place and you find a girl looking at an item or a product, get closer to her and act as if you’re interested in the same thing, then ask her:
- “That looks like an interesting drink/cereal/shampoo. What’s in that?”
- “Have you ever tried it before?”
Any situation you find yourself in, you can make a comment about it and then pull the girl into a conversation.
#3 – Making a suggestion or contributing input on whatever she’s doing
For instance, when you meet a girl at a shopping place and she’s pondering over her choices, make a suggestion or help her decide on what to buy.
This will lead to an engaging conversation.
#4 – Asking her a generic question or asking her opinion or needing her (female) perspective on something
This is a good reason to approach a girl… as if you need her opinion on something only a female can help you with.
- “Hey, I need a female opinion on something…”
- “Hey, I’ve been meaning to try this [what’s in her cart/in her hands]. Do you like it?”
Ask her something you genuinely want a girl’s opinion on and make sure it’s something that’s interesting to girls… then talk about it for a while, gradually transitioning to a more engaging conversation.
#5 – Being direct and straightforward
This one works best at social venues like parties and other single events… because she’s there to socialize, mingle, and meet new people.
So in social events like parties, when you see a girl and you would want to talk to her, just walk up to her and say “Hi!” or something similar, then take it from there.
- “Hi, you seem like a fun/cool/interesting/awesome person, and I wanted to come over and talk to you! My name is…”
She will say Hi back.
Here, she will know why you walked up to her… and she will be responsive if you appear cool and relaxed and especially, indifferent (for now). [Read: ‘How to Connect with a Girl on a Deep Emotional Level’]
When she’s by herself…
And most especially looking sad or bored or has a frown on her face… walk to her and say something like…
“Hey, is everything all right?”
“Hey, is everything all right? Do you need a friend to talk to?”
“You seem troubled… what’s wrong?”
“What’s the problem?”
…then follow up on her response.
Or you can also say something like…
“Hey, cheer up! Things can’t get much worse!”
This will usually get a laugh or a smile… then you follow up with something like “Talk to me… why the sad face”.
Easy, huh!
Just relax, be confident, and don’t think too much.
Keep Reading: When You Meet a Girl for The First Time, Should You Go for Her Number or Go for a Date?
Also Read: How to Get a Girl to Come Over to Your Place
Don’t telegraph interest when you meet a girl for the first time.
Don’t use pickup lines nor give lame compliments
Do not start a conversation with a line like, “Hey, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”…
…nor should you give a lame compliment like, “You have an amazing ass”.
The problem with pickup lines and lame compliments is that they reveal to the girl right off the bat you want to get into her pants.
Girls hear compliments all the time, and they see through it.
Again as I mentioned earlier, when you telegraph interest, it puts her in a defensive mood and makes things harder than it needs to be.
Sure, if you’re insanely good-looking, you can say anything you want and any girl will be receptive. So unless you’re insanely good-looking, you don’t want her to reject you before getting to know you… stick with the five conversation starters. [Read: ‘9 Of the Top Reasons Girls Reject Guys’]
Pickup lines and compliments give away your intent.
Next…
…don’t ask a girl permission to talk to her
“Can I talk to you?”
“Do you have time to talk?”
“May I sit?”
“Can I sit next to you?”
“Do you want to go somewhere a little quieter?”
Asking for permission is seeking approval…
…and it’s unattractive.
It’s like saying, “I need your permission before I can act on my desire to talk to you and show you I’m a man.”
Don’t ask for permission; just start talking.
You need to show dominance from the start.
Use the five approaches I’ve given you and pull a girl into a conversation.
If she doesn’t have time to talk, find another girl who does and who’s worth your time. [Read: ‘The Best Dating Tip You Could Ever Get’]
Keep Reading: Personality Traits Girls Find Most Attractive in Guys
Asking for permission is seeking approval, and it’s unattractive.
Be confident in yourself
Don’t focus on any outcome. You want to do away with negative thoughts that could hold you back from starting a conversation with a girl.
Don’t think of what could go wrong.
Don’t be afraid of how a girl will react or respond to you.
As long as you don’t give her the impression you want to get into her pants, she will be receptive and responsive to you.
If you feel fear, she will detect it and could use that to her advantage – to intimidate you. [Read: ‘Confidence: A Quality in Men That Girls Find Attractive’ and ‘Simple Fact about Girls: When You Realize this, Your Success Skyrockets’]
What causes the fear of talking to girls
Truth is, when you see an attractive girl, it’s that intense desire for her that keeps you from thinking of clever things to say and makes you even chicken out at the very last minute.
Now, here’s a secret tip…
Start a conversation with girls from the position of merely having a conversation.
Get it?
It puts you in a state of rest – no fear, no nervousness, nothing.
It helps overcome any fear and nervousness you may have in having a conversation with her.
This affects your immediate behavior and actions and makes a girl receptive and responsive to you. Because she will know instinctively that you’re just talking to her just for talking’s sake – you’re not trying to get into her pants.
It’s much easier to start an interaction with a girl this way because there is no tension there.
Keep Reading: ‘How to Be Attractive and Attract Girls to You’ and ‘How to Make a Girl Fall in Love with You’
Also Read: How to Get a Girlfriend: Step-By-Step Guide
So there you have it…
…how to start a conversation with a girl.
I hope this article has given you a deep insight into how to start a conversation with a girl.
Continue Reading: A Simple But Overlooked Tip that Builds Attraction with a Girl Quickly
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