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How To Know Who Your REAL Friends Are

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Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey

Ah, friends, they come and go like the money in our wallets. One thing I’ve learned now that I’m in my 30’s is that REAL friends are hard to come by!

Throughout our lives, we will have gone through many friendships that not only teach us about ourselves but about who a real friend is.

When you were little, did you ever give or receive a ‘friends forever’ necklace, and you really thought it would be FOREVER!? You may be lucky enough to still have that childhood friend, but as life goes on and we grow up, we also grow out of friendships- some are outgrown naturally, while some, we have to outgrow the hard way.

We sometimes tend to use the term friend loosely in regards to someone. But are they really your friend? Or are they just an acquaintance or someone you know? Who we think maybe a real friend, can easily turn into a fake ass friend who will stab you in the back.

Real friends, however, are the people in your life that are like you’re chosen family, you feel at home with them, they are a part of you and your own unique tribe. Your real friends will stay with you through thick and thin, through all the breakups, tears, drama, celebrations and the ugly hangovers.

If you are having doubts about one of your own friendships, we’ve put together 7 signs that will help you know who your real friends are!

real friends

#1. Does your friend make time for you?

Life is busy for everyone, and sometimes we will neglect our real friends purely because of the demands of life. However busy we may be, the real friends will make time for you especially when you really need them. There are also situations where your real friends might live miles away, and even though you don’t talk regularly, you can still pick up where you left off- (even if it has been years!)

#2. You know each others embarrassing secrets

A part of knowing who your real friends are is if you can be vulnerable around them. Do you trust them enough to open your heart and share with them that dark secret you regret doing years ago, or that embarrassing story you would die if anyone found out? Your real friends will truly listen and guard your embarrassing story like it’s their own. (unless it’s ridiculously funny, then…maybe not. 😉)

#3. A real friend can call you out, and you won’t get offended

Sometimes in friendships when you are real friends, there WILL be times when one person in the friendship will need a good kick up the butt with some tough love! If you feel you can give or receive some well-needed harsh truths from or to this friend, and both of you can take it like a man, then this is definitely a sign of a real friend.

#4. You can be your weird self around them

If you can be your weird and wacky self around your friends without the feeling of being judged, then chances are they are the real deal! Being your authentic self around someone is a gift- I mean GAWD, we wear enough masks in life as it is, right? This is a sign you feel comfortable around them, and you’re not feeling strange vibes or energy that subconsciously blocks the real you from shining. If you do feel uncomfortable around someone, and your not vibing-then trust your instinct, because they are not your real friend!

#5. There is an equal balance

To know who your real friends are, think about the balance of each friendship. Is it 50/50? Or does one person seem to take more, and only want to see you when they need you? A real friend won’t take advantage of you and will show respect and integrity. And, at the same time, your real friends won’t be keeping tabs on who owes who and who helped who out the most.

#6. A real friend will have your back

A real friend won’t be backstabbing you in the back, they are the ones that will have your back either in front of you or when you’re not around to stick up for yourself. If you have a friend like this, that sticks up for you (even though you might be in the wrong), then this is a real friend to keep!

#7. A real friend will lift you up and want the best for you

A favorite clinical psychologist of mine Jordan Peterson who wrote the 12 Rules For Life said in this Theo Von Clips Youtube video

If you’re starting to put your life together and you have friends that “object”. Those are not friends, those are just people you know. A friend is someone you can tell bad news to and they won’t tell you you’re an idiot…they just listen and maybe suffer along with you. A friend is also someone you can tell good news to…”good on you! I hope 10 more things like that happen to you”..and they don’t get envious or jealous.

Real friends will genuinely want the best for you, and will pull you up, instead of down! If they are pulling you down, it’s time to cut the rope and RISE!


Life is just too short to waste time with fake friends, and when you find the real ones, cherish them, because there’s nothing like having a real friend! x

To find out who your FAKE friends are, read: 6 Signs To Help You Spot A Fake Friend!

Thanks for reading how to know who your real friends are! Let us know your own thoughts in the comment section below, or share this article with your “real friends” on social media! 😉

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