“If you want to be successful in the art of dating and seduction, the art of becoming intimate with the girl you desire, then it behooves you to learn how to flirt with a girl.”
If you meet a girl you desire and you would want to take things to the next level, you have to at least flirt with her.
Flirting with the girl you desire will signal to her you find her attractive and that you are interested in her beyond friendship…
…and should she flirt back or be receptive to your advances, then it’s game on.
In this article, I share with you how to flirt with a girl to express your interest in her and share an amazing level of chemistry together.
I start out by discussing two important elements you should keep in mind before you start flirting with a girl.
Then, we get to the meat of this post, how to flirt with a girl.
After that, I share with you the mistake to avoid when you’re flirting with a girl… this is a common mistake lots of guys make when flirting with girls.
Note: This article is focused mainly on how to flirt with a girl in order to get her to feel a strong se*ual attraction for you. However, if you have no romantic design for the girl in mind but you just want to flirt with her for the fun of it … this article is for you too.
With that said, let’s get started on how to flirt with a girl.
Important stuff to know before you go out flirting with girls
Before you go out there and start flirting with girls you find attractive, there’s an important personality trait you need to have…
…and that is confidence.
Confidence in the sense that you should not quiver when flirting with a girl…
…do not be afraid of how a girl is going to react.
Don’t fear rejection.
Your non-shaky voice, facial expression, and gestures will communicate to a girl you are confident in yourself. (This is incredibly attractive to girls)
Have the mentality that the girl is going to like you and find you attractive… and that she is going to be receptive to your advances.
Most girls will be unreceptive or fake being upset
Confidence also has to do with being a little bit persistent or refusing to give up when the going gets tough.
You see, when you start flirting with girls, it’s either they will freak out, they will be unreceptive or they will flirt back.
Some girls will even fake being upset… all because they don’t want to come across as slutty.
Here, most guys would get disarray and frustrated… and even shy away from hanging out with the girl.
Don’t be like those guys…
…push on a little bit, and demonstrate you are an alpha male.
Who knows… she is probably in a bad mood.
Or she is playing hard to get. [Read why girls play hard to get]
If you push on and you don’t give up when she acts disinterested (provided you are an attractive guy), she will just be more attracted to you… because you’re displaying authority and dominance and acting like a real man. [Read the #1 trait that attracts women and how to demonstrate it]
So with this in mind, when you’re flirting with a girl and she is not receptive initially, just sit back and continue with your neutral interaction until the next opportunity presents itself… then go for it again.
The second important element on how to flirt with a girl is to…
…build attraction before flirting
You see, before you can successfully flirt with a girl, you have to first get her attracted to you or make her fall in love with you…
…and then gradually transition into the flirting phase.
In other words, you have to create the environment for the flirt.
How do you accomplish this?
…through your attractive personality traits and your conversational skills.
Your attractive personality has to do with your behavior and mannerism and how you carry yourself. [Read ‘The Personality Traits Girls Find Most Attractive in a Guy’ and ‘How to Be Attractive to Girls’]
With your conversational skills, this has to do with how you engage the girl in a conversation that builds a deeper emotional connection with her. [Read ‘How to Talk to a Girl’ and ‘The Things to Talk About to Build Emotional Connection’]
You can’t just flirt with a girl and hope she flirts back or responds positively…
…you need to first get her to feel an attraction for you.
“Walking up to a girl and saying ‘You’re hot, want to bone?’ is not flirting. It’s being forward. This blunt approach turns a girl off,” says dating expert Joseph Matthews.
Once you’ve successfully created attraction, that’s when you can get a girl to be receptive to your advances.
So before you flirt with a girl, follow these three easy steps…
Get the girl attracted to you –> Connect with her on an emotional level –> Flirt
This process will guarantee a successful flirting… and the girl will be receptive to your advances and flirt back.
With that said, let’s get started on how to flirt with a girl.
How to Flirt with a Girl for the First Time: The Process
Now understand… flirting lies in the way you talk to a girl and how you behave at the same time.
So these are how you’re going to go about it:
- Turn a regular conversation into a se*ual one… interpret communication through a se*ual subtext and make se*ual innuendos.
- Make the experience playful and fun… evoke laughter by teasing or busting her balls.
- Make intimate physical contact any chance you get.
- And on top of it all, make seductive eye contact as you allude remarks to s*x… then wink at her or move an eyebrow when necessary.
All these combined will not only signal to the girl you find her attractive and that you are interested in her beyond friendship… but it will also get her se*ual attracted to you.
Let’s go into detail.
Once you can tell a girl likes you or she shows signs of interest…
…ease into the flirting phase
Start out gently and carefully.
The purpose of flirting is to express your interest in a girl in the hopes that she expresses or returns that interest…
…so you ought to start out gently and carefully in order not to spook her.
If the girl flirts back or you can tell she’s having fun, then you flirt harder.
But if she doesn’t flirt back or she freaks out, then stop or change tactics. [Read how to get a girl to like you with 10 simple tips]
You don’t want to go full-flirtatious on a girl and ruin your chances of succeeding or achieving your goal.
Plus, when you start out gently you can test the waters to determine if the girl will be receptive.
This is especially vital when flirting with girls you meet for the first time.
Start out with suggesting marriage, divorce, and breaking up
Take normal conversations you will be having with the girl and redirect it by suggesting affair, marriage, divorce, and even breaking up.
Here’s an example:
- Her: “I was thinking of going into acting.”
- You: “That’s excellent… there’s a lot of money in that, and I need a girl who can make enough to support me.”
- Her: “Support you? Come on!”
- You: “Definitely. We could get married, and I would be the ‘house husband’. And you could bring home the bacon.”
- Her: “Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t support you! It’s the man’s responsibility to support the woman.”
- You: “Fine. Then it’s over. I’m going to have no choice now but to ask for a divorce.” [Smile and wink at her].
I bet you are smiling right now… and you’re definitely going to pull a smile out of the girl as well.
You see, here you are gradually easing into the flirting phase by suggesting divorce over her not supporting you.
The next step on how to flirt with a girl is to…
…be suggestive with your words
Smoothly transition into se*ual innuendos or double entendre.
Here’s how to stir up se*ual feelings in a girl and make her feel a se*ual connection to you.
Seductively gaze into the girl’s eyes, smile and make remarks like:
- “I want to come inside”
- “It’s much better when it’s wet”
- “Do you wanna come inside”
Use this one with caution.
You don’t want to go into this territory during the early stages of meeting the girl.
So make sure you’ve gained a rapport with the girl first… and you can tell she’s into you, before using se*ual innuendos. [Read the conversation technique that helps build attraction quickly]
Now, when you notice she is also being suggestive with her words… then that is a HUGE indicator of interest.
It’s always a good sign when a girl flirts back.
“let me know when I start turning you on”
Now, it’s obviously clear what your intentions and interests are…
…you know it and she knows it.
You both know where this is going, so it’s just a matter of making your move.
Using humor to soften the atmosphere and making everything playful
Find opportunities to playfully tease a girl for a laugh…
…in other words, bust her balls every chance you get.
As dating expert Carlos Xuma has written in his book The Dating Black Book, “Teasing is flirting. The best kind of flirtation with a girl is to tease her, to bust her balls, to let her know that she is not on a pedestal. Make fun of her. Be indifferent to her interest.”
Tease a girl about her answers she gives to your questions:
You: “Are you single?”
(she answers yes)
You: “Why? is there something wrong with you?”
Teases her about the way she dresses.
If she’s wearing unusually tight or low-cut clothing:
“Did you shrink the clothes in the dryer again?”
Tease her about having a dirty mind.
“I’m really wet”
“Slap her in the a$$ when she says something bratty. Ball up a paper straw wrapper and throw it at her, with a mischievous grin on your face. Frame the whole interaction with a girl almost like you’re her big brother and she’s your comical little sister. Keep everything funny and playful”, says dating expert John Alexander author of How to Become an Alpha Male.
But, remember not to come across as mean or cruel.
Tickle her and get her laughing
Tickle the girl any chance you get, as well…
…especially when she makes a sarcastic comment.
Here, you are getting physical… you are getting closer, and you are creating chemistry with your touch.
If she’s one of those girls who isn’t ticklish, this is an opportunity to flirt your way into contact with her.
Next on how to flirt with a girl…
…make things a little intimate
Whisper into her ears.
“Nothing can be more flirtatious and seductive than the act of whispering,” says dating expert Joseph Matthews.’
“When you lean in towards a girl and lower your voice, it creates an aura of intimacy that is hard to resist. The closer you can get to her ear, the more intimate it becomes, and the connection between the two of you becomes stronger because of it.”
Whispering sweet nothings into a girl’s ear is so arousing.
So there you have it… how to flirt with a girl.
Now, you know how to flirt with a girl… it’s equally important to know how NOT to flirt with a girl.
So moving on we look at the one very mistake to avoid.
A flirting mistake to avoid
Bragging is not flirting.
“Often, when you hear guys talk about how much money they make, what kind of car they drive, or how powerful they are at work, these guys are mistaking flirting for showing off,” says Joseph Matthews.
Flirting is not to impress a girl. [Read how to impress a girl and make her feel naturally attracted to you]
…flirting is all about expressing your interest in a girl through suggestive remarks, teasing, innuendo, and physical contacts in the hopes that the girl expresses or returns that interest.
“Flirting is designed, by nature, to be a way for a male and a female to discover whether or not the two are attracted to each other,” says Joseph Matthews.
So there you have it… how to flirt with a girl and how to not flirt.
Girls obsess over guys who flirt… and are therefore drawn to them.
Being flirtatious increases your attractiveness, and girls will respond to you with a high level of se*ual interest and attraction.
Teasing, touching, innuendo, when combined, will get a girl madly attracted to you.
And when all is said and done, don’t be too hard on yourself if you screw up, or think you screw up.
Even if you do make a mistake, learn from it… or if you get rejected, move on and find another girl.
So again, here’s how to flirt with a girl.
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