This is how to become an alpha male… not muscles, not intimidating, not manipulating, not ridiculing… but by your attitude and mannerism. Because that’s what makes people look up to you and follow you.
When you think of the term “alpha male”, what comes to mind is dominance or authority…
…traits women find attractive in a man.
It is used largely to refer to the more dominant and aggressive males in the animal kingdom. Otherwise known as the leaders of the pack.
The alpha male in the animal kingdom uses certain cues and behaviors to dominate the other (lesser) males or cause them to follow it.
Now, as humans, we too can demonstrate our alpha male characteristics or traits and get people to look up to us and follow us…
…or for the specific purpose of this article, to make women find us attractive.
So, here in this article, I share with you how to become an alpha male, or how to become an ALPHA MAN and get any woman to find you attractive.
I share with you how to be an alpha male not just necessarily in life, but specifically with women. And how to exhibit those alpha male personality traits around women to get them to find you attractive.
You will also learn the mistakes to avoid if you really want to be perceived as an alpha man.
So, before we begin, let’s look at how the alpha male or the alpha man stands out from other men. After that, we get to the meat of this article – ‘how to be an alpha man’.
Read More: How to Get a Girlfriend: Step-By-Step Guide
The alpha male
Without a doubt, there is more than one kind of man.
There is the alpha man and there is the rest.
Unlike the other kind of men, the alpha man is a man of high-status.
He is authoritative and confident (two traits women find most attractive in men).
His self-worth comes from within… that is, he doesn’t look to people, especially women, for validation or seek their approval. This also means he doesn’t brag and show off to seek women’s approval.
Truth is, he is not needy and he doesn’t put women on a pedestal or waste his time trying to impress a woman. Because he’s the prize, and women should be the ones to work for his approval.
In fact, he is the man every man wants to be and every woman wants to be with.
With that said, let’s get started on how to become an alpha male (or how to be perceived as an alpha male) and get any woman to feel an attraction for you.
Keep Reading: How to Be Attractive to Girls or Women
How to Be an Alpha Male – What Really Makes You Alpha
To become an alpha man, or display the alpha personality traits, we’re going to look at the important and main elements you should work on.
I’ve grouped them into five (5) categories. And they are:
- Your mindset
- Your body language, specifically your posture
- How you make eye contact
- The behavior, mannerism, and attitude to exhibit when with people
- Then finally, how you talk to people
With that said, let’s get into detail…
How to Become an Alpha Male and Make Women Want You
Now, I break these categories down.
I’m going to teach you how to become an alpha male by mastering each of the 5 categories.
Let’s get started…
Alpha Male Personality #1 – Your mindset
Being an alpha man begins with adopting the right mindset and having a positive and optimistic foresight and inner confidence…
…both in your personal lifestyle and in the dating world.
Have a mental picture of yourself as a man of high-status… a man people will respect and admire, and a man any woman will find attractive.
Live life to its fullest, and don’t be concerned with what people think of you.
Keep in mind, you’re in charge of your own life… so be self-assured, focus on yourself and pursue what you want in life.
Be your own boss… see things from the ‘I can do’ perspective.
Be optimistic and believe in yourself and your ability to succeed… both in life and in the world of dating.
In the same breath, don’t look to others, especially women, for validation or self-esteem.
When it comes to women and dating…
…don’t be preoccupied with what a woman thinks of you. Instead, focus on yourself and try and be the best.
Like I mentioned earlier, the alpha man doesn’t look to women for validation or seek their approval…
…so if you want to become an alpha man and make women want you, you SHOULDN’T seek their approval either. Instead, have the mindset that you are irresistible to women and a good catch, and that every woman will be lucky to be with you. [Read: ‘How to Make a Girl or a Woman Fall in Love with You’]
As you can see, what you’re doing here is having the mindset that you’re superior, and that people will treat you with great respect and admiration. The end result… it will reflect on everything you do, including your body language. And people will pick up on it and perceive you to be an alpha male.
And this takes us to the next lifestyle element on how to be an alpha male… what your posture or body language should be.
Keep Reading: Video Tutorial On How to Make Her Want You More
Alpha Male Personality #2 – Your posture
The next step to be perceived as an alpha man is to be aware of what your body language, specifically your posture, communicates to people.
In short, display a confident body language (in addition to your mindset and other traits of an alpha male yet to be mentioned.) [Read: ‘22 Ways to Appear Confident (and Get Any Girl Attracted to You)’]
Hold your chest and head high with your shoulders back when standing and walking (not hunched over or in a slouching posture.)
When you sit, lounge and lean back. And keep your legs and arms UNCROSSED, and expose your crotch.
Also, have a relaxed and spread-out posture when standing. That is, spread your arms and legs out (feet slightly apart) and take up space around you.
When walking, walk a little slower and unhurriedly (unless you’re in a hurry to get somewhere.)
Plus, when someone needs your attention, turn your head slowly – don’t do it in a hasty manner. Remember, you’re alpha… you’re not in this world to impress or please anyone.
In the words of dating expert David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating, “this might sound a little far out to some people, but these LITTLE details make all the difference when dealing with a woman.”
In simple words, you will stand out and people, especially women, will see you differently… in this case, ALPHA. [Read: ‘5 Body Language of an Alpha Male that Instantly Gets Women Attention’]
Keep Reading: 21 Alpha Male Characteristics That Makes a Man Stand Out
Next on how to become an alpha male is how you make eye contact…
Alpha Male Personality #3 – Your eye contact
Making strong eye contact demonstrates (or is an indication of) dominance… that is, it communicates to people you’re an alpha male.
When you maintain strong eye contact when talking to people, it conveys to them you’re a man of high-status, and you’re confident.
But when you look down or avert your gaze, you communicate submissiveness, a sense of low status and self-consciousness.
So, look people in the eye when talking to them.
Now, to demonstrate to women you’re an alpha man, don’t let your eyes dart around… instead, seductively gaze directly at them. Here, she will see you as a dominant male. And dominance equals alpha. [Read: ‘The #1 Trait that Attracts Women’]
Maintain consistent eye contact when you are doing the talking. But when you’re the one doing the listening, glance away a few times. Because the less you look at the other person while they’re talking, the more dominant you’re perceived to be.
Hint: If you see a girl or a woman you find attractive, and she notices you staring at her, don’t look away. Instead, hold her gaze until SHE looks away. Not only do you signal to her you find her attractive and probably interested in her, but it also conveys to her you’re a dominant male and you’re not afraid of women (traits of a confident man.)
Alpha Male Personality #4 – The behavior and mannerism to exhibit
Demonstrate dominance and make people follow your lead.
Dominance is the utmost trait to display when with people. Because without it, you’re just like any other man – without superiority.
There are many ways to go about demonstrating your dominance and coming across as an alpha man. And they are:
a. Take charge and make the decisions
In other words, be the leader in your social circle… a.k.a. be in charge.
The alpha man is a leader.
Not only does he command respect and get people to follow his lead… he also creates fun and excitement to those in his circle.
To be perceived as an alpha man, don’t rely on others to make decisions. Instead, take charge and be the guy everyone looks to.
Make firm decisions and don’t hesitate in its execution. In other words, don’t be afraid to take risks. That’s what leaders do – they take risks and don’t back down from a problem.
Also, don’t offensively boss people around.
You want to demonstrate dominance and display your authority, but it doesn’t mean you should manipulate or intimidate people.
Don’t ridicule people and prove that you’re smarter than them. Instead, be an inspiration to them, guide them.
Plan events and make sure everyone involved has fun.
When dealing with women, instead of allowing them to make decisions, be the one to decide what to do for the night, pick the restaurant, decide what to do for the weekend, etc.
Don’t ask them permission to do something with you. Instead, command:
- “I’m off to get some lunch, come along with me”.
You’re an alpha (or you want to be one), so have the mindset that people will follow you.
Truth is, women look to men to make decisions for them. So, to be perceived as an alpha man in the eyes of women, take charge and lead.
The next way to demonstrate dominance is to…
…have standards in life and don’t accept anything mediocre (tip b.)
What does this mean?
Have principles and stick to them.
Don’t allow anybody to disrespect you or take advantage of your good nature.
Don’t allow people to talk down to you or walk all over you.
When somebody disrespects you, let them know you don’t put up with such behavior.
By the same token, control your emotions… don’t lose your temper when offended.
Without standards, everyone will see you as an equal and treat you anyhow.
When it comes to women and dating, tread carefully. Because women will try to manipulate you or play games with you, including using drama, to test your ‘ALPHA-NESS’.
Let them know you have standards in your life by passing their test.
As an alpha man to be, be a challenge for her. [Read: ‘One of The Best Ways to Attract Women and Have Them Pursue You’]
As I mentioned earlier, the alpha man is not needy and he doesn’t put girls or women on a pedestal or waste his time trying to impress a woman…
…because he’s the prize, and women should be the ones to work for his approval.
When you communicate to a girl or a woman you’re not like the other guys she meets who try hard to impress her, she will see you as an alpha man, and consequently, feel a strong attraction for you.
Similar to having standards in life to demonstrate your dominance is to express your views without fear…
…and this takes us to the next tip on how to become an alpha male.
c. Express your views in an intelligent manner and without fear
Disagree with people when they’re in the wrong. And don’t be afraid to speak your mind.
But of course, do it reasonably and know what you’re talking about.
Don’t display too much intelligence, especially when the person you’re talking to is trying to display HIS intelligence – don’t let them suck you into their reality.
Don’t prove yourself to anyone.
The alpha man doesn’t seek approval from others, including the woman he desires. And you SHOULDN’T either if you want to be perceived as an alpha man.
Sure, you have respect for others, but it doesn’t mean you should agree with everything they say.
And sure, you might feel attracted to a woman, but it also doesn’t mean you should wimpishly agree with everything she says.
When you always agree with everything a woman says, you come across as a weak-willed man. And she can easily manipulate you.
“The ‘Yes Man’ isn’t attractive to women. He’s the guy who agrees with everything a girl says. Secretly he has an opinion but is afraid to voice it. That’s because he’s afraid that women won’t like him if he is disagreeable”, says dating expert Steve Scott.
When you voice your opinion, it communicates to people you’re NOT afraid of them. Thus, it communicates your self-confidence.
Read More: Why Women Don’t Find Nice Guys Attractive
To the next tip on how to be an alpha male by demonstrating your dominance.
d. Make physical contact with people
In addition to other traits of the alpha male, make occasional physical contact as you engage people in conversation.
This is a must-do alpha male behavior. Because it communicates to the person you’re touching you’re confident and secure in yourself.
Most especially, with a woman you desire, touch or make physical contact with her any chance you get.
Lightly touch her arm or shoulder to emphasize a point.
Offer your hand when crossing the street or guiding her through a crowd of people. [Read: ‘How to Touch a Woman’]
When you make physical contact with the woman you desire, it not only sends a strong signal that you’re confident and not afraid of women, but it also strengthens the connection you’re building with her. [Read: ‘If You Can Do This to a Woman without Getting Bitch-Slapped, She’s Ready to Be Kissed’]
“It is also a hallmark of alpha males that they feel free to touch others. So by being free with your touching, you are non-verbally communicating that you are an alpha male and a man who has confidence with women,” says dating expert John Alexander in his book, ‘How to Become an Alpha Male: Attract Women and Become Successful at Seduction’. Grab a copy here.
The next tip on how to be an alpha male with your dominance is to…
e. Remove any jealousy
The alpha man doesn’t rely on women for his happiness. Because if he loses a woman today, he knows he can easily get another to replace her tomorrow. [Read: ‘The Best Dating Tip You Could Ever Get’]
So, if you see your woman talking to another dude, be cool with it.
Have the mindset that the other guy is not on the same level as you.
BELIEVE you’re better and superior to other men.
Because not only do you know what women want and how to make them feel better in many ways, you’ve also got the qualities they find attractive in a man. [If you don’t know the qualities am talking about, read the personality traits women find most attractive in a guy and work on the ones you fall short.]
As dating expert John Alexander has written in his book, ‘How to Become an Alpha Male, Grab a copy here:
“If you knew that you were the shit and that you can attract hot babes and get la!d easily, would you care that your girl is going off and talking with some other guys? Of course not, because that would be her loss (and you could just get la!d from some other chick)”.
So as an alpha man to be, don’t intervene or stop your woman from talking to other men. Because you don’t want her to see you as needy and insecure.
Nonverbally communicate to her seeing her talking to other guys doesn’t faze you at all.
Not only will this make you alpha, but she will also find you unique and superior.
Read More: How to Not Fall in Love
The next tip on how to be an alpha male with your dominance is to…
…learn to disappoint and say “No” (tip f.)
Do things for people because you want to and not because they ask you to.
If someone wants you to do something for them and you can’t, then don’t do it.
With women, not only do they try to manipulate men, but they also test men’s dominance.
Now, here’s how to be an alpha male in a relationship…
…just because your woman wants you to accompany her to the mall, doesn’t mean you should set aside your busy schedule and wimpishly do as she says. [Read: ‘Why Taking The Risk To Anger A Girl Is The Best Way To Make Her Feel A Strong Attraction For You’]
If your girl wants you to do something with her, and you’re kinda busy, let her know you’re busy. And reschedule to a time and day you think works for you…
…that is, make a counteroffer.
As dating expert John Alexander has written in his book How to Become an Alpha Male, Grab a copy here:
“By saying no, you establish your authority and set yourself up as a challenge for the woman. If she views you as a challenge, then she will be excited by you instead of bored. If you say YES to everything your woman suggests, then she will soon be saying NO to you, and in the worst place of all… the bedroom”.
It’s irrelevant to the alpha man what a woman thinks of him.
So don’t care how your woman will react to rejecting her offer. Because you know that you’re adventurous, fun and an interesting guy, and she’s fortunate to be with you.
Don’t overdo this though. Because you don’t want to come across as too self-absorbed.
And the last but not least on how to be an alpha male with your dominance is to…
g. Take the lead role with women
You see, women always expect men to make the first move and take the lead. Including leading her to the bedroom.
Unlike the lower status man who plays it safe with a woman he desires and is afraid to do or say something that will offend the woman, the alpha man makes his move and is not afraid to take risks with women he desires.
So, if you want to be perceived as an alpha man in the eyes of a woman, act in a way that will make you stand out from other men in an attractive and positive way.
For example, when you talk to a woman, don’t be afraid to talk about se*ual topics or make se*ual innuendos.
Give her the impression you’re comfortable talking about s*x.
Plus, after building attraction with her, push your encounter and interaction steadily towards intimacy… make your move when the opportunity presents itself.
Don’t expect the woman to be the first to get intimate with you because she won’t. (A woman wouldn’t want to come across as the ‘S’ word.)
If you don’t make the move and take the lead with a woman, you risk winding up in the friend zone.
Alpha Male Personality #5 – How you talk to people
The last but not least alpha man traits is to learn to speak with a deeper voice (if you aren’t already).
Not only is it pleasing to the ear, but it communicates to the listener you’re confident.
So instead of speaking in a monotonous pitch, speak from your diaphragm and make your voice deeper.
Also, don’t hurry through your conversation… slow down your speech and pause to recollect your thoughts if you have to.
Unlike the average guy who talks too fast and feels like he needs to communicate his message in one go, speak slower…
…lean back, relax and captivates your listener’s attention with your conversational skill. (And speaking of conversational skill, learn how to talk to women.)
By the same token, control the conversation towards subjects you’re interested in talking about to demonstrate your leadership characteristics. And don’t be afraid to interrupt the other person talking.
Nevertheless, be a good listener and let people feel they’ve earned your attention.
Plus, make hand gestures when talking.
And as previously mentioned, look people in the eye when talking to them.
Other alpha male tips
- Be knowledgeable and hone your skills.
- Don’t be smiling excessively. Smile only when there’s something to smile about.
- Love people, but trust no one.
- Be persistent with women, don’t give up that easily. When you meet a woman you’re interested in, don’t be afraid to make a move. Plus, don’t be afraid of rejection. Truth is, a girl might say “no” to you, yet her body language will show signs of interest.
- Don’t quiver when speaking to a girl. Have the mindset that you’re a man of high-status and any woman or girl will be lucky to be with you.
- Don’t argue with your girlfriend. And never insult her.
The mistakes to avoid
Just like with everything, there are some things you should definitely NOT do if you want to be perceived as an alpha male.
So, as you learn how to become an alpha male, it is just as important to know the mistakes to avoid.
- Never spend money on a woman to win her affection. Because it communicates to her, her value is higher than yours and that, you’re trying to earn her approval by buying her things. The alpha man is a man of high value or status.
- Don’t intentionally do things to impress a woman or a girl. The alpha man doesn’t look to women or girls for validation. [Read: ‘The Proper Way to Impress a Girl and Make Her Feel Naturally Attracted to You’]
- Don’t brag or show off either. The alpha man doesn’t need people’s approval.
- Don’t bully or force others into doing what you want.
- Avoid fidgeting and nervous facial gestures such as biting your lips, licking your lips, pursing your lips, and twitching your nose. Instead, be relaxed knowing that you’re irresistible to women.
- One of the mistakes you could also make with a woman or a girl you’re interested in is playing it safe. The alpha man is not afraid to express his intentions and make his move at the opportune time. Of course, you don’t want to rush things when you meet a woman for the first time. But you need to convey to her your interest is not solely in friendship. And this is achieved via your conversational style (se*ual innuendos) and mannerism (flirting with her).
Conclusion: How to Become the Alpha Male
As you can see, there are a lot of traits and qualities that capture the essence of an alpha man… and none is about intimidating and bossing people around.
It is your…
- dominant behavior
- having standards in life
- showing confidence
- having a strong body language
- and other related traits
…that show you are an Alpha Male.
Even when you’re an employee in a firm you can still be perceived as an alpha male and make people respect you (including your boss).
It might be absurd to be an alpha yet work under a leader. But keep this in mind… even the CEOs report to a board of directors. So, it goes without saying, though you may report to a superior, you can still become an alpha man.
All you need to remember is act in a high-status manner.
Have the mindset that you are a man of high value, and don’t allow anyone to belittle you or treat you less.
Focus on yourself, be your own boss, do your own thing, be the best you can be, and live life to its fullest.
Be self-sufficient and self-assured.
Don’t care about what people think of you. And you shouldn’t waste your time trying to impress or please anyone.
So, there you have it – how to become an alpha male (or how to be perceived as an alpha male or man).
Do you find this post helpful? Then share and tell people about it. And comment below and let me know what you think.