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How to Be Attractive to Women or Girls (And It’s Not About Your Looks)

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sexual attraction

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“Here’s how to be attractive to women… it’s not about looks, it’s not about money, nor is it about fame. But it’s about the attractive personality traits you exhibit.”

Looks and money don’t matter

Women AREN’T attracted to looks.

As dating expert David DeAngelo has written:

“Attraction is so powerful that a man who is not physically attractive, who doesn’t have money, who isn’t tall, etc. can win the affections of a woman over a man who does have these things, but doesn’t have the personality and qualities that are naturally and genetically attractive to women.”

A man looks at a woman’s physical appearance and feels attracted to her. But it’s the opposite with women.

Women find us (men) attractive NOT based on our body or face, but by our attractive personality.

Sure, looks do have some advantage in many cases – women respond to it initially. But it fades with time.

What a woman finds attractive in a man (or what attracts a woman to a man the most) is the man’s personality and mannerisms. [Read the personality traits girls find attractive in a guy]

So, while some women are interested in looks, ALL women are MORE interested in how you act and make them feel.

Now, understand this…

…when you have the looks COMBINED with an attractive personality, you’re guaranteed to get any woman attracted to you INSTANTLY. But if you’re good-looking and you act like a wuss or exhibit unattractive behavior, a woman will NEVER feel attraction for you. So again, good-looks is not important. What attracts women to men most or what women find most attractive in men is their personality.

So here in this article, I share with you how to be attractive to women by exhibiting the right personality traits and mannerisms… even when you’re not model-looking.

With that said, let’s begin… with how to be attractive to women.

Keep Reading: How to Attract Women

How to Be Attractive to Women

As you know by now, women are attracted to men with attractive personality and mannerism…

…so, let’s take a look at how to become attractive, or precisely, how to attract a woman with your personality and mannerism.

Here are how to be attractive to women:

Demonstrate confidence

Confidence is the most important personality trait to exhibit when dealing with women.

Women love guys with confidence. Because, when you act in a confident manner, you non-verbally communicate to a woman you’re comfortable in any environment and you can handle whatever happens.

Most men get nervous when they’re in the presence of the woman they really like. So, they try hard to please her, because they’re afraid they will lose her to another guy.

Demonstrate self-confidence by acting differently.

Don’t bother with what women think of you or how they will react as you interact with them. Or whether a woman likes you or not.

Have the mindset that all women find you incredibly attractive, and any woman will be lucky to have you. Firmly believe in your ability to get any woman attracted to you.

The last thing you want to do is communicate to a woman you lack self-confidence.

Because keep in mind, women can sense when a man lacks self-confidence. And it causes them to NEVER feel attraction for him.

So, to demonstrate your confidence when with a woman, be relaxed and appear cool when you interact with her.

Be yourself and be in control.

Make direct eye contact with her during your interactions.

And in the end, don’t let her drama and tests destabilize you. [Discover the 22 ways to appear confident to get any woman attracted to you]

“In order to become supremely confident, you must retrain your brain to react in positive ways rather than negative ones. This will take both persistence and practice, but eventually, you can permanently reshape the way you react to your world.” – Joseph Matthews, The Art of Approaching.

The next step on how to be attractive to women is to…

…act dominant

Similar to demonstrating confidence is acting dominant… taking the lead role, taking charge of situations, making decisions…

…simply, demonstrating authority.

This is the most desirable personality trait. And the one that makes you more attractive to women.

Women find men who act in a dominant manner attractive… because it communicates to them you’re a man of superior status.

The average guy supplicates himself to women.

He is afraid to speak his mind or disagree with a woman.

He acts nice. And he WIMPISHLY does everything a woman says.

He’s afraid when he acts CONTRARY to a woman’s expectation, the woman wouldn’t like him.

In fact, everything he does FOR a woman, he does to seek her approval.

To stand out and be attractive to women, you need to act like a real man.

Be in control.

Don’t be afraid to speak your mind (that is, INTELLIGENTLY voice your opinion).

Never let people push you around, ESPECIALLY, attractive women.

When disrespected, stand up for yourself, but control your temper.

Disagree with people when they’re in the wrong.

Never let anyone belittle you.

When dealing with women, take charge and lead.

Be the one to decide what to do for the night, pick the restaurant, decide what to do for the weekend, etc.

DON’T ask woman permission to do something with you.

Instead, SOFTLY command… “I’m off to get some lunch, COME ALONG WITH ME”.

Keep Reading: The #1 Trait That Attracts Women and How to Demonstrate It

The next trait on how to be attractive to women is to…

Have a sense of humor

As you demonstrate confidence and act dominance, be funny or have a sense of humor as well.

The average guy talks to a woman in a completely serious manner. And the woman gets bored quickly.

Be different in an attractive way.

Get a woman laughing and she will feel attracted to you.

Make witty comments, and communicate to women you’re a fun person to be around with.

Teasing a woman is also a great way to show your humorous side.

Tease her in a playful manner any chance you get.

Do you have some funny jokes you can tell? Then tell them.

Let her see you as a fun guy to be around with… and you will stand out in an attractive way.

Don’t try too hard to be funny… because a woman can instinctively tell if you’re trying hard to be funny.

Just demonstrate your wits.

And no mean jokes either.

Having a sense of humor is also how to be attractive to women.

The next personality trait to have is an interesting conversational skill… which takes us to the next tip.

Be an interesting conversationalist

This is the most attractive quality you can possess.

Because it is the quickest way to build rapport and create attraction with women.

As dating expert Carlos Xuma has written: “Talking and conversations are the currency of dating and relationships.”

Unfortunately, women and men have different communication styles.

Men’s style of conversation is aggressive, with a clash of egos, name-calling, bragging contests, put-downs, and all the conversational style women find boring.

Women, on the other hand, talk to share drama and emotions.

Like they say, “women are emotional creatures”… hence, they crave sensational, dramatic, and emotional conversations…

…with a dose of humor.

The average guy engages in topics that tend to be boring to women…

…like how his four-wheeled drive has the new hydraulic-turbo-manifold-tune-up charger.

The worst of it all, he also likes to brag.

He tries to be smart by displaying too much intelligence.

This way of talking to a woman doesn’t increase her feelings of attraction to you. It rather kills it.

To be attractive to a woman, make your conversation with her more interesting and alluring.

Talk about topics that she finds interest in.

LISTEN to her and get her to talk more – “really! Tell me more”.

Don’t advise her. Women want to be heard. They somewhat don’t need guidance, especially from men. So be interested in what she says and the reason she’s saying them, and SHOW EMPATHY – “I see what you mean. You must have felt very angry.” [Read the simple 3 step-approach to talking to women]

“In a woman’s conversation, the worst sin is not to have heard her out and understood her feelings.” – Carlos Xuma, SECRETS OF THE ALPHA MAN.

If you’ve got an interesting, amusing to passionate stories in connection with what you’re talking about, tell them.

Talk like you you’ve known each other for a long time. And keep the conversation crackling with fun and wit. [Read how to talk to women]

Be unpredictable and mysterious

“Don’t be predictable… do the unexpected when they LEAST expect it,” says dating expert David DeAngelo.

To put it simpler, do things or act contrary to her expectations.

If she calls you to hang out, say you’re busy and reschedule.

If she asks you to do something for her, tell her “No”… but do it later when she least expects it.

Similar to unpredictability is creating mystery and curiosity.

Don’t tell a woman everything about yourself. Even when she asks, hold back some of the details or try to change the subject.

Create a feeling of uncertainty in her… it’s a good thing.

Make her wonder who you are, what you’re up to, what you do in your free time…

A woman will also ask questions to test you… to see if you’re going to brag or act like the other average guys she’s met…

…you should avoid them.

“We are attracted to those we can’t quite understand or control, and those that somehow challenge our reach.” – David DeAngelo

Personality and communication are so important when it comes to attraction.

Other ways to look more attractive

  1. Groom yourself and dress in a neat manner. Looking good and smelling nice also adds to your attractiveness. Clip your nails, trim your nose and ear hairs, whiten your teeth, etc. Strive to make yourself as presentable as possible. Keep in mind, first impression counts, and it goes without saying you should be very particular about your hairstyle, the type of shirt you wear, the pants you put on, how you match your attire, how your belt and shoe match, and so on if you want to be attractive to women. Because, though your look doesn’t matter, a woman looks at your appearance before getting to know you, and hence, will be JUDGED on your appearance.
  2. Show intelligence (but not to the extreme): In other words, don’t show off. Be knowledgeable or demonstrate intelligence. Thus, if you’re going to say something, make sure you know what you’re talking about.
  3. Demonstrate positivity
  4. Make slow movements and gestures. Thus, move slowly, turn your head slowly, gesture slowly, etc. This also includes the way you speak. Avoid speaking too fast. Slow down and have a thoughtful speech. Pause to recollect if need be.
  5. Be fun to be around. Go out and engage in exciting and interesting activities. Make the most of the time you spend together and let her have fun around you. Go for a walk in the park, go to fairs, etc.

The unattractive behavior to avoid

As you learn how to be attractive to women, it’s equally important you know the unattractive behavior to avoid.

So given below are some unattractive behavior to avoid if you want to become attractive to women:

  1. Don’t try to impress women with gifts, and dinners.
  2. Don’t show off or deliberately do things to get a woman’s attention.
  3. Don’t wimpishly do favors for women. To borrow a phrase from David DeAngelo, “The nicer you are to a woman the more she often seems to act like just a friend to you”
  4. Don’t spend money on a woman to get her into feeling attracted to you.
  5. Don’t smother a woman with attention, or call a woman 24/7 or be obsessed over her. [Read a powerful way to build attraction with a girl you have a crush on]
  6. Don’t act insecure or show any jealousy.

These things, including other ‘approval-seeking’ behaviors, cause women to find you unattractive. Because they see them as a manipulation tactic men use to try to get into their pants.

…be different, do the opposite.

Now, keep this in mind… the more attractive a woman is the more she’s been approached by men, and the more experience she will have detecting wussies from real men.

So instead of doing things to impress a woman, spending money on a woman to win her affection, and whatnot, get her to feel attraction for you with your personality.

A woman will feel attracted to you for just being yourself and exhibiting an attractive personality, but not acting like a wussy. So stop doing the things that put her on a pedestal.

Important stuff to know

Once you work on your personality and develop the right skills in attracting women, adopt the mindset of “I’m attractive and any woman will want to be with me”.

Have a positive mindset. Make yourself believe that you’re an attractive guy and that any woman will find you attractive. And this will reflect in everything you do.

Never, have self-doubt about attractive women, and how they could be out of your league. Instead, believe that you’re an attractive man. And any woman you meet is going to be into you.

Believe you’re a good conversationalist.

Believe you’re fun to be around and any woman is going to have a good time with you.

“The key secrets of attracting women are more psychological. You can change your state of mind to become more attractive, and it costs nothing more than your effort”, says dating expert David DeAngelo in his program, ‘Attraction Isn’t a Choice’

A woman will find you attractive when you exhibit attractive personality traits, but she will be more attracted to you when you exhibit a high level of confidence by way of having a positive mindset.

So be happy with how you look.

Don’t let your height, weight, income, where you live, or your job stop you from approaching women and getting the woman of your dreams.

Have the mindset that even if a woman doesn’t respond to you positively then it means she doesn’t have the good taste to choose you.

Form a new self-image with an attractive personality and you can be successful with women, regardless of your looks.


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