Why You Shouldn’t Be Friends with A Girl You Find Attractive

friends with a girl

Do you ever ask yourself why a girl you desire acts all weird when you ask her out after being friends for a long time?

You meet a girl, you like her, you call her up on phone and talk for hours, you hang out with her every day, you go out and do things together, but then when you want to get romantic she becomes uncomfortable.

Why is that?

Why is it that every girl you befriend doesn’t want to be your girlfriend?

Read on.

It makes sense to be friends with a girl before you start dating her

You’re honestly looking for a good girl to settle down with, and you feel it’s necessary to be friends before you start dating.

Sure, you would want to know a girl better and feel more comfortable with her first before you start dating her.

Or you would want the girl to get to know you better before you make a move or ask her out.

It makes sense…

True, there are some situations where some guys were friends with their girlfriends before they started dating.

But such only happens when the girl is already attracted to the guy in some way.

Now, the downside…

How long do you think the girl is going to wait for you?

…not to mention you haven’t even shown any sign that you’re interested in her.

Yes, she is still available… but for how long.

You met, you are a cool guy, you’re sweet, she likes you, she enjoys your company… but the mistake is you’re not displaying any signs that you’re interested in her beyond friendship.

Here, she’s going to categories you as a friend in her mind.

When you are friends with a girl for too long without showing a little bit of interest in her, she will get the impression you don’t find her attractive.

Sure, she will like you for your nice guy attributes and enjoy your company, but she wouldn’t be interested in dating you.

After all, you’re demonstrating that you’re a good friend, not a potential lover.

So she’s going to do friendly things with you that she does with other male friends of hers.

Now, what I’m about to say next is going to sting…

…when another guy comes along, and this guy has the confidence to make a move, she’s going to move on.

friends with a girl
If you don’t communicate your interest in a woman, she will move on and try to find a guy she’ll enjoy being with more than you.

Let your intentions be known early on

Don’t hide it.

You would think you’re playing it safe when you don’t let the girl know you’re interested in her beyond friendship.

You’re afraid she is going to reject you when you show interest in her. [Read 9 of the top reasons why women reject men]

Sure, I always advise to not telegraph interest or your intentions when you meet a girl you desire for the first time… because you don’t want to put her on guard and make her reject you outright without getting to know you first.

But in your subsequent meeting with a girl you desire, you’ve got to let her know you are interested in her beyond friendship.

Because should you communicate your interest in her after a long period of friendship… she’s going to get confused.

Heck, you’re probably her close friend… she has shared or talked about embarrassing stuff with you. So the idea of moving from friendship into the romantic arena will make her uncomfortable. And thus, she will prefer things (your friendship) the way they are…

…came about the phrase, ‘let’s just be friends’.

So understand this… once you become a ‘friend’, it can be difficult to cross over into the lover category.

A major reason why it can be difficult to move from friends to lovers

As friends, the girl will share stuff with you that she definitely won’t share with a guy she sees as a potential boyfriend…

…stuff like the guy she first hooked up with, how big the thing was and whatnot.

When she considers you as a friend, she will act in a certain way and probably do embarrassing things in your presence… because she sees you as her best friend.

Now, do you think she is romantically interested in you… to go as far as to act embarrassingly around you?

Of course not.

So now should you decide to date her, do you think she will be receptive?

Nah, I don’t think so.

friends with a girl
When you become friends with the girl or woman before you try to date her, you’ve removed the possibility of romance.

So what’s the right approach when it comes to women and dating

If you’re being friends with a girl hoping to date her a year from now, then you’re doing it wrong.

You’re portraying yourself as the safe friend and you’re getting pigeonholed each and every time.

You’re not the only one… millions of guys are making this same mistake.

It’s not late to turn things around.

So what’s a guy to do when he meets a girl he desires and would want to go into a romantic relationship with?


…introduce sexual tension into your relationship

You can do this by flirting with her, making intimate touching, displaying interest, and even going in for a kiss at the opportune time. [Read how to flirt with a girl]

What you want to accomplish here is to ‘lock in’ the romantic designs you have for her and sow in her mind you’re that guy.

Here, you’re removing the friendly affection while replacing it with a sexual tension…

…which is a good thing.

After you successfully communicate your romantic interest in a girl, you can become friends and build a relationship from there.

Here, the good news… even when she’s not receptive, you will know you don’t have a chance with her.

Probably because she looks for different traits in a guy she’d want to date.

But what if she’s playing hard to get? [Read why girls play hard to get]

Well, you can use it to your advantage and nonverbally communicate to her you’re not like the guy she’s used to going out with. [Read what to do when the girl you desire plays hard to get]

So here, even though you are friends with the girl there is also that attraction (that bit of sexual tension) in the relationship.

This bit of sexual tension is what will even make you attractive and make you stand out from the rest of the guys she knows…

…because this is a trait her male friends don’t have.

friends with a girl
Having a bit of sexual tension in a relationship is key. You can build an attraction around sexual tension, and friendships can stem from that mutual attraction.

Final words

The best way to go about succeeding with a girl you desire is to create an attraction before friendship.

Let your intentions be known early on… don’t try to hide it.

When you do this, you can find out very quickly whether you have a chance with the girl or not.

If you don’t have a chance with her, you can try being friends with her.

Because if you’re going to spend months hanging around a girl who only sees you as a friend, then you’re going to set yourself up for a painful rejection.

Now, be careful here… you don’t want to come on too strong before you establish a connection with a girl.

The trick is, when you meet a girl, quickly establish a connection with her (make her feel a strong attraction for you), then make it known to her you’re interested in her. Then see if she’s interested in you too.

This will lead to dates, and then relationships…

…then you can be friends afterward.

Do you find this post helpful? Then share and tell people about it. And comment below and let me know what you think.

Sexual Attraction