You meet a girl you find attractive and you express your desire for her. But instead of her being receptive to your advances and showing interest back, she seems rather aloof.
Or she was already receptive to your advances. You’ve kissed a couple of times and even gone as far as to third base. Everything was fine from the beginning. But now she seems uninterested and acting as if you’ve done something wrong.
Is she playing hard to get or just not interested in you?
From the looks of things or the signs she’s giving off, you can tell she is DEFINITELY playing hard to get.
Now, how do you react? How do you deal with a girl playing hard to get?
In this article, I share with you what to do when a girl or a woman you desire plays hard to get. But before I get to it, you first have to know the reasons why a girl or woman plays hard to get.
Why girls or women play hard to get
Why is she playing hard to get?
Women or girls play hard to get for three simple reasons:
- they don’t want to be perceived as easy. Therefore, if you work hard to get her, then she is valuable.
- they want to be sure if a guy is really interest in them.
- they are used to guys DESPERATELY pursuing them. So they play hard to get PURPOSELY to control the guys to their own advantage.
With these three reasons in mind, how should you deal with a girl or a woman playing hard to get… read on.
Women know instinctively when a guy WANTS them. And as soon as it becomes clear to them, most of them are likely to start playing hard to get.
Because, they know they have something that men want. And therefore, they will make us work hard to get it.
Now, the question is… when the girl you desire plays hard to get with you, what do you do?
1. Should you pursue her?
2. Give up and find another girl who will be “easy to get”?
Now, let’s take a look at both options.
When you pursue her…
…you give her exactly what she wants – the chase.
Yes, it makes sense to pursue her. Because, she is very attractive, and you were lucky to get her, and you wouldn’t want to risk losing her.
You would want to buy her things and spend money on her to show her that you value her and are really interest in her. You would want to do whatever she says or give her whatever she asks for.
Now, for whatever reason she might have playing hard to get, you risk being manipulated.
Because, you will be giving her ultimate control over you. And not only can she control you to her advantage, she is likely to play hard to get to a greater extent, making you work HARDER, do everything she wants, and give her whatever she asks for… including spending tons of money on her to get her approval.
When you give up and move on…
…you risk losing a girl who may be the right person for you.
Sure, when a girl is playing hard to get and it’s too much for you, you have an option to give up and find another girl who wouldn’t play hard to get with you. After all, why bother and invest your time, energy, and money pursuing a girl or a woman who’s giving you a tough time, and may not even be the right girl for you.
But like I mentioned earlier… she might be playing hard to get because she doesn’t want to be perceived as easy. Or she’s probably making sure to see if you’re really interest in her (she will show signs she likes you but is playing hard to get). And thus, if you give up and move on, you risk losing a great girl.
Both options make sense… but there’s a better way
Now, if the above two options are not the best approaches to dealing with a girl or a woman playing hard to get, then what is a guy to do?
How do you deal with a girl or a woman playing hard to get?
Play hard to get yourself.
In other words, use her own game back at her.
Play hard to get with her too, but do it in a SUBTLE manner. Subtle, in the sense that you don’t want to make noticeable your intentions… you’d want to nonverbally communicate to her that, by nature, you’re not obsessed with women, and thus, don’t chase women.
Why playing hard to get yourself is the better option
It’s a tendency for most guys to pursue a girl or a woman when she is playing hard to get with them. But unlikely for a guy to give up and move on.
But as I mentioned earlier, when you pursue a girl or a woman when she plays hard to get, you give away your control and she can easily manipulate you, or control you to her advantage.
When you give up, you risk losing a girl who may be the right person for you.
However, when you use her own game back at her – when you play hard to get yourself – you stand out in an ATTRACTIVE way and separate yourself from other guys she meets.
Not only will she will find you unique and interest, but it turns the table and she will be the one chasing you. Or more precisely, you maintain control, reverse the roles and she will be the one chasing you because you have something she WANTS… the Attractive You.
So this is what to do when a girl or a woman plays hard to get
Instead of pursuing a girl who is playing hard to get or giving up and finding another girl, this is what you do:
When a girl is playing hard to get, withdraw and act as if you don’t need her.
(TRUTH: you need her, but you don’t want to seem needy or desperate, and give her control over you.)
She will be expecting you to pursue her – doing whatever she wants and caving to her demands – but choose not to. In other words, act contrary to her expectations.
Give her the impression that you’re not obsessed with her, and therefore you’re not going to pursue her. If she doesn’t want you, you can find another girl who does.
(You’d want to give her the impression that she’s not the only attractive girl you can get.)
Even if you’ve expressed your desire for her, and now she’s playing hard to get, let her know that the fact that you find her attractive and expressed your desire for her doesn’t mean you’re going to DESPERATELY pursue her.
This sends a powerful message about how VALUABLE you are. And she is going to find you unique and interesting.
…make her miss you, and want you very much
The next step to SUBTLY playing hard to get and somewhat pretending as if you DON’T need the girl is to make yourself scarce or unavailable.
Once you convey to her you’re not going to DESPERATELY pursue her, make her feel the ache of your absence…
…make her miss you, wonder what you’re doing, and think about you.
You see, when you’re always available and hang out with a girl every day, she gets the impression that she’s got your interest already. And as a result, plays hard to get.
But, you need to nonverbally communicate to her she’s not the source of your happiness, so to speak, by making yourself unavailable.
So instead of hanging out with her every day, go out and engage in other activities. Enjoy your hobbies, hang out with your buddies, join a cooking class, etc. [Read a powerful way to build attraction with a girl you have a crush on]
There’re two advantages to making yourself unavailable:
- It will help you overcome the torture of HAVING her.
- She will be afraid of losing you to another girl. And therefore, will withdraw her decision to play hard to get with you.
Don’t go overboard or make yourself too unavailable (playing too hard to get). Because you need to make her feel your presence once in a while, to give her the impression that you’re not obsessing over her.
If a girl isn’t interested in you, you can’t make her… Move on.
There is a likelihood for a girl or a woman to play hard to get with you when she realizes you’re interested in her. But if you don’t desperately pursue her and act as if you don’t need her, you send a powerful message about how valuable you are.
Now, provided you have attractive MANLY qualities that she can’t resist, in addition to NOT desperately chasing her, she will feel a strong attraction for you and will be the one chasing you instead. [Read personality traits girls find attractive in a guy].
…when the girl or woman you desire plays hard to get with you, DON’T desperately pursue her, doing everything she wants, and giving her whatever she asks for.
Instead, act as if you don’t need her… and use her own game back at her.
Now understand this: when playing hard to get with a girl or a woman, don’t completely ignore her. Still remain friends and hang out like nothing has change between the two of you. Only now you act as if she’s a mere friend and you have no romantic design for her.
So, there you have it – what to do when a girl or a woman plays hard to get.