How to Flirt with a Girl and Get Her Interested in You

how to flirt with a girl

To be successful in the world of dating and seduction all stems from knowing how to flirt with a girl – flirting with a girl in a way that creates attraction and desire.

Here in this article, I share with you how to flirt with a girl.

(Note: I will be using ‘girl’ interchangeably with ‘woman’ throughout this article.)

With that said, let’s get started.

Before you flirt with a girl, there are a couple of things to keep in mind…

Important stuff to know before you go out flirting with girls

Before you go out there and start flirting with girls, there’s an important personality trait you need to have – CONFIDENCE.

This is a quality in men that all women find attractive.

Remember, it’s your traits and behaviour that gets a girl attracted to you and receptive to flirting back.

Now, what does it mean to have or demonstrate CONFIDENCE?


It is firmly believing in your ability to succeed, to successfully flirt with a girl and get her to flirt back.

Don’t fear rejection…

Believe that you have what it takes to get girls.

Believe that you know how to flirt with a girl, and what the outcome might be.

If you flirt with a girl and she is not receptive initially, just sit back and continue on with her until the next opportunity arise then make your move again.

Even if you get shot down, don’t dwell on it, find another girl. And have the mindset that any woman would be lucky to have you.

But that’s not all…

Confidence also includes having the right body language, making strong eye contact, smiling, having good posture, touching women, and even teasing them.

Your voice tonality, facial expression and gestures will also communicate to a woman you’re confident with yourself and confident with women.

These personality traits, are incredibly attractive to women. And when you communicate them to the girl you’re TRYING to flirt with, she will respond to you positively and flirt back. (UNLESS she already has a boyfriend)

So, when flirting with a girl, try to communicate these personality traits and she will find you attractive and be receptive to your advances.

And of course, make sure you’re properly groomed, well dressed, have a nice scent, looking bad boy.

With that said, let’s move on to the second most important element on how to flirt with a girl.

Be subtle at the beginning of your interaction

In other words, don’t be transparent with your interests when you start talking to a girl you like.

This is especially important when you’re flirting with the girl for the first time.

Indeed, you’re attracted to her and you want to communicate that to her, otherwise you wouldn’t be flirting with her in the first place.

But DO NOT be straightforward with your intentions, like starting your conversation with, “hey, you’re very hot… got a man”.

…this DIRECTLY communicates your intentions.

Well, a few girls might be receptive, but that’s NOT how to flirt with a girl.

Start slow and build up gradually.

The reason why you SHOULDN’T make it obvious to her at the beginning of your interaction what your intentions are, is because when she get a whim, it will raise her power in the interaction you’ll be having with her.

You want to engage her in a conversation, and be receptive to you talking to her, then gradually win her over.

Some girls might be receptive to your immediate advances and flirt back. But the best way to flirt or the best approach is to BE SUBTLE and have fun with it.

Girls are emotional…

…and they respond well to feelings, romance and mystery.

If you’re straightforward, it kills the romance, and it will put her on guard.

Though, you wouldn’t be transparent with your interests right away, she will still pick up on the signals of interest, later in your interaction (but in an ACCEPTABLE way, because you are speaking her language).

And if she’s receptive and she flirts back, then she’s interested.

If not, then move on to another girl.

However, if you’re NOT going to take things to the next level (which I show you how, here in this article), then she’s not going to take you serious, and you’re going to end up in the ‘friend zone’.

But when you’re just flirting with her for the fun of it, then subtlety isn’t really necessary.

Heck, probably flirting is part of your charm. (You’re going to learn how to flirt with a girl and make flirting a natural part of you)

Now, let’s get started… how to flirt with a girl.

How to Flirt with a Girl: The Process

Below is a guideline on how to flirt with a girl.

Let’s begin…

Supposedly she’s this new girl you like and you want to flirt with her, like a girl you met at a bar, or a party or any other social event… approach her and engage her in a conversation.

Your approach will be easier if she shows signals she will be willing and open to talk to you, like giving you a sideways glance, hold your gaze just long enough for you to notice then look away, etc. [Read: Female Body Language: 10 Attraction Signals Every Man Must Know]

Walk up to her and smile, keeping your body relaxed and somewhat carefree.

Now, engage her in a conversation

For the purpose of this article, I assume you know how to talk to a girl.

Remember, project an image of an attractive guy… thus, portray confidence.

Speak confidently and don’t appear nervous.

Make sure you speak in a deep voice.

Always make direct eye contact with her throughout your interaction, look at her seductively. And smile to make her feel comfortable around you.

Now, about compliment…

Even though, girls love compliments you don’t have to make it seem you want something from her. (Remember, BE SUBTLE at the beginning of your interaction)

Don’t compliment her on her looks or cloth. She hears this all the time.

You need to be different from the other guys who approach her.

Compliment her on something that’s worth complimenting. And make sure your compliments are genuine.

Is she wearing a bracelet that looks appealing, then compliment her on that.

Moving on…

Remember, flirting is about building up attraction and communicating your interest in the person.

So be playful with your words, as if you’re just having a normal conversation with her, YET communicating your interest in her through the flirting techniques I share in this article.

Keep your conversation entertaining and exciting.

Use humor and make her laugh and feel good about herself.

Make her feel special and attracted to you by creating good emotional feelings within her.

For example, ask question about herself – what her favourite vacation was, her dreams, goals, etc.

As dating expert Joseph Matthews has written, “Women do like to talk about themselves, and asking her about herself shows interest on your part about who she is and what she’s about.”

Not only will this create attraction and emotional connection, but you also get to fish for a commonality, something you both share or something you can relate to.

For instance, if she has passion or an interest in something you too have a passion or an interest in, you can talk about it.

If you’ve both been to the same city or country before, you can tell her your experiences in that city or country.

You can even tell her a funny story to get her entertained and create an emotional feeling within her.

This creates a strong emotional connection between the two of you.

And the more connections you can establish with her, the more she will trust and feel comfortable around you.

“A man who can master the art of deep connection with a woman, will automatically increase his chances of attracting her dramatically”, says Kezia Noble, the world’s female leading dating expert, in her program, ‘Deep Connection’.

Now, don’t keep asking her questions, like you’re interviewing her

Get involved and talk about your (similar) experiences too.

But make sure you don’t end up talking too much about yourself. Focus on her and continue to build emotional connection with her.

Avoid boring topics or conversations, conversations that has nothing to do with emotional connection…

…like politics.

Even if she talks about them, try and steer the conversation in a different direction.

Be playful and funny…

…and get her laughing to make her feel comfortable around you.

This is one of the attractive trait women wants in men – a sense of humor.

Try to crack a joke just about anything, and she will enjoy talking to you. Which means you can easily build attraction and make her interested in you.

Everyone (including you) wants to have fun and have a good time. And when a girl is having fun around a guy, she gets emotionally attached to the guy as long as she continued to have fun.

So, as you’re connecting with her on a deeper emotional level, make her laugh and have fun around you.

Truth is, you don’t have to be a comedian to be funny or to get a woman to laugh. In fact, the best kind of humor to use is teasing.

So as your conversation gets deep…

…find opportunities to playfully tease her for a laugh

This is where the flirting begins.

Tease her and bust her chops at every chance you get.

As dating expert, Carlos Xuma has written in his program, ‘The Dating Black Book’ “Teasing is flirting. The best kind of flirtation with a woman is to tease her, to bust her chops, to let her know that she is not on a pedestal. Make fun of her. Be indifferent to her interest.”

Tease her about her answers she gives to your questions:

  • You: “Are you single?”

(she answers, yes)

  • You: “Why, is there something wrong with you?”

Teases her about the way she dresses. If she’s wearing unusually tight or low-cut clothing:

  • “Did you shrink the clothes in the dryer again?”

Tease her about having a dirty mind.

“Slap her in the [backside] when she says something bratty. Ball up a paper straw wrapper and throw it at her, with a mischievous grin on your face. Frame the whole interaction with a woman almost like you’re her big brother and she’s your comical little sister. Keep everything funny and playful.”, says John Alexander, author of ‘How to Become an Alpha Male’.

Remember to use humor so she doesn’t get offended. And don’t come across as mean or cruel.

Keep your teasing light and fun…

Never tease her about her appearance or things she is sensitive about, and don’t insult her either.

If she punches you in the arm, it means she’s digging you.

So keep your teasing light and funny, and watch her responses.

If she’s hurt about something you said, just back off a little bit.

WARNING: If a woman doesn’t respond well to humor, if she gets easily offended, WALK AWAY and find yourself another woman. To borrow a phrase from Carlos Xuma, “Women who can’t take a tease or laugh at themselves are the worst seduction targets.”

Remember, what you’re doing so far is building attraction and getting her to like you.

And once you connect deeply on an emotional level, and she’s all excited and digging you, you can take things to the next level.

And you should start out by…

Lightly touching her while talking to her

Now during your interaction with her, look for opportunities to touch her.

It’s highly advised to touch women when talking to them. It strengthens the comfort and connection you’re building with them.

Subtly touch her on the arm or shoulder when talking to her, because this will set the starting point for PHYSICALLY flirting with her.

Now, if she DOESN’T draw back, and even she touches you back, then she’s comfortable with you touching her.

Plus, when you can tell she’s REALLY into you (because she’ll be, once you connect deeply on an emotional level), take things further.

And this takes us to the next stage…

It’s time to PHYSICALLY flirt with her

Here, you’re moving from building emotional connection to creating desire.

You see, women crave physical contact, especially from the men they’re interested in.

And again, as mentioned above, when you can tell she’s REALLY into you, take things further.

So how do you know a woman is into you?

Look out for these signs:

  • She plays with her hair, or rubs her earlobes
  • She rubs her fingertips around her upper chest
  • She has an extended intimate gaze (at you)
  • She touches you or leans in close
  • She brushes her foot against yours when she laughs at one of your witty statements
  • She licks her lips while taking to you

If you notice any of the above signs, then she’s totally into you. [Read: How to Tell If a Girl is Interested in You]

Make your intentions known… (that your interest is NOT solely in friendship)

Now, she’s emotionally attached to you, and she’s longing for your touch.

“Use touch to express your interest”, says dating expert Carlos Xuma.

“You use touch to make it clear to her that you aren’t looking at her as just another friendship possibility – you have romantic designs for her. Start touching her briefly every so often to see if you can start building some chemistry between you. You want to make sure she UNDERSTANDS from your actions that your interest is NOT solely in friendship.” –– says dating expert Carlos Xuma.

In other words, start out by lightly touching her while talking to her, as described above.

Lightly touched her elbows, wrist, arms, shoulders, and hold hands when walking.

Now, if she’s touching you too, or you can tell she’s fine with you touching her, then she has some interest and even attracted to you.

Truth is, if you connect with her emotionally, your touch will NOT be rejected.

Take it up a notch…

Now, you can take it up a notch and touch her lips, seductively gazing into her eyes, or even caress her in a way that makes her feel wanted.

If she doesn’t cringe, then it’s a BIG signal, and you can even go for the KISS without getting slapped or sued (Yes… seriously, you can get sued). [Read: If You Can Do This to a Woman without Getting Slapped, She’s Ready to Be Kissed]

WARNING: Never touch ‘no-go areas’ of her body. This includes her chest area, backside, inner thighs, or any other part of her body that could be misinterpreted as too forward too soon. Unless invited.

If at ANY moment she seems uncomfortable or uneasy with touching her, back off and rebuild the attraction. Respect her limits.

Want to play it safe? Then…

Let her make the first move.

“I advise men to wait until she’s touched them the first time, because at this point, she’s probably interested. If you touch her too soon, you CAN’T be sure. But when time is limited, you will probably just have to move forward on your own best understanding.” – says dating expert Carlos Xuma.

When a woman is interested in you, she will reach over occasionally and touch you.

Plus, the less you touch her, the more she will want to touch you.

So, that’s how to flirt with a girl and get her interested in you.

Now, here’s a possibility…

If the girl picks up that you’re flirting with her, she’s likely to reject your advances.

Girls are very sharp in picking up on signals of interest, and also bad intents.

Keep in mind that lots of guys have approached her more times than you’ve had breakfast, therefore she can quickly tell if a guy is interested in her or not.

It’s obvious that you’re attracted to her, otherwise you wouldn’t have approached her, and she knows that.

So again, if she picks up that you’re flirting with her, she’s likely to reject your advances.

Maybe she’s not interested, maybe she has a boyfriend.

Maybe she’s into you, but needs a little more time to feel safe and comfortable around you.

So if she’s not receptive as expected, sit back and engage her more in a conversation until the next opportunity arises.

Let her get to know you and like you before you start flirting with her again.

So all in all, read her body language – the signs she is giving off. If she’s receptive and she’s flirting back, then that’s a GO sign – to take things to the next level.

Moving on, it’s more important to know the mistakes to avoid, because these mistakes will turn the girl off and make it harder to get her interested in you.

To the mistakes…

The flirting mistakes to avoid

When flirting with a girl, don’t try to impress her by bragging about the kind of car you drive and how cool it is… how much money you make or have in the bank… or how important your job is or how academic you’re.

If you don’t have any of the above, don’t lie either.

You might think that bragging and lying will get the girl to like you or fall for you, but it won’t.

Be honest and straightforward.

If you’re ashamed of who you are or what you do, then don’t bring it up in your interaction.

Get to know her instead, or tell her an amusing or passionate story that will create attraction and emotional connection with the girl.

You see, flirting is all about generating emotional feelings in a woman and expressing your interest in her.

Also, don’t try to please her just to seek her approval.

Keep in mind, women often test men for whatever reason they may have.

So stay true to yourself, else she will walk all over you.

Next, don’t fidget.

Avoid fidgeting nervously with your hands or legs.

It shows you’re a nervous and an unconfident guy – a major turn-off for women.

And finally, don’t be too hard on yourself if you screw up, or think you screw up.

Even if you do make a mistake, learn from it… or if you get rejected, move on and find another girl.

No matter how gorgeous the girl may be, there will always be another gorgeous girl (who is even more gorgeous than her) a few blocks away.

So don’t dwell on your mistakes or failures. Always be moving forward.

Making flirting easy and fun

You actually have to work on yourself and become a natural.

To make flirting easy for you and become better at it, try and flirt with every girl – girls you don’t have intentions dating.

You see, when you do this, you create a confident mindset and your confidence around girls will grow.

Your ability to flirt with ANY girl increases to the point that you can even flirt with girls that are out of your league, so to speak.

And with this mindset, you can flirt without fear of rejection.

Not only that, but you also attract a lot of girls to you.

Of course, you are speaking their language, because as I mentioned earlier, girls respond well to emotions and feelings.

You will have girls around you and a lot of female friends, so your female social circle grows.

But, if you’re only learning how to flirt with a girl because you want to flirt with your crush and her ONLY, then as written by Carlos Xuma, “you’ll just create a mental barrier for yourself”.

A mental barrier in the sense that, if you’re waiting for the right moment and the right girl before you start flirting, it creates anxiety when flirting with the girl.

So here’s the way to go…

Take what you learn here and let it be a natural part of you.

Truth is, you might be nervous at first, but with practice you will become better at it.

Flirt with every girl or woman you meet or know.

Flirt with them because you’re a man, and that’s what men do.

Enjoy doing it, perfect your techniques and grow.

And when you finally find or meet the girl you’re attracted to or interested in, and you’re going to flirt with her, flirting with her will become a piece of cake.

Note: Yes, flirt with every girl, but if you’re going to flirt with a group of girls, make sure your target girl feels more special than the rest. Treat her in a special manner.


So, there you have it – how to flirt with a girl and get her interested in you.

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