It’s been said and written by most dating websites that in order to make a girl chase you, you should appear or act totally disinterested in her.
Sure, it makes sense to act disinterested in a girl in order to SOMEWHAT make her find you attractive. But when you act TOTALLY disinterested in a girl or a woman, you risk losing her.
Why is that?
Because, HIDING the fact that you’re se*ually attracted to or interested in a girl or woman will give her the impression that you’re not interested in her AT ALL, or worst, she will think you’re gay.
If you don’t show your interest in the girl you desire, how would she notice you?
Keep in mind… an attractive girl will never VERBALISE her interest in a guy to the guy. They want us to make the first move. Even when a girl or a woman wants you, she will give you signals that she wants you to make a move. Plus, there are other guys competing for her affection. So if you act disinterested in her, without giving her a REASON to chase you, she will lose interest in you and move on.
The reason this misconception is believed to be effective
Most guys are led to believe that in order to attract a girl, they have to convey to the girl that they’re NOT interested in her. Because, a girl’s impression of a guy is that when a guy is talking to her, the guy is only interested in one thing – S*X. And thus, if the guy shows no interest in the girl, he will come across as different from other guys and the girl will find him attractive.
They continue… the girl will find him attractive not only because he’s not trying to hit on her or “score”, but she can’t use the guy’s need for sex from her as a tool to control and manipulate him. Therefore, this presents the guy as a total challenge to her, and therefore the girl will have to work hard for his attention.
Again, it makes sense that this technique SOMEWHAT make girls find you attractive.
But truth is… yes, a girl might find you attractive, but if you don’t show interest in her, she will be thinking:
- “This guy probably doesn’t find me attractive” (which is a good thing, because then she has to seek your approval)
- “This guy probably has a serious girlfriend” (here, she loses interest in you and move on)
- “I don’t want to risk putting myself out there. He has to make the first move” (with this, she has to find a real man who isn’t afraid to take the lead with women and make a move)
- “Is he gay?” (Oops, she drops you in the friend zone and move on. And no amount of dinners, gift and favors will make her feel attraction for you)
So again, as I mentioned, when you act TOTALLY disinterested in a girl or a woman, without giving her a REASON to chase you, you risk losing her.
There is a better way…
A better way to go about attracting a girl you desire and making her want you is to express your desire for her, but DON’T do things to seek her approval.
In other words, NONVERBALLY communicate to a girl you find attractive that even though you find her attractive, you’re not going to act like a wussy and DESPERATELY chase her… like most guys do.
As dating expert Bobby Rio has written, “It’s NOT about completely hiding your desire and pretending to be indifferent to her. It’s about expressing your desire for her, but really being indifferent towards the outcome.”
To put it simple… don’t act totally disinterested in a girl you desire. Instead, show interest in her. But if she tries to play “hard to get” because she thinks she’s capture your heart, nonverbally communicate to her you’re not going to act like a wussy and DESPERATELY chase her. [Read what to do when the girl you desire plays hard to get]
How to make a girl feel attracted to you and chase you… the proper way
Acting disinterested is ONLY effective when you’re approaching a girl for the first time. Because here, when you approach her in a neutral way or without telegraphing your interest, she drops her defenses and she will be receptive to talking to you.
But as things progresses, once you’ve build rapport with her and you’ve successfully created attraction with her by your attractive personality and communication skills, you’d want to express your desire for her. [Read how to attract girls]
You express your desire for her by:
- Flirting with her
- Using sexual innuendos in your conversation with her
- Seductively gazing into her eyes when talking to her
- Moving in for a kiss
At this point, she might play “hard to get”. Because of course, she can clearly tell she’s got your interest already. But most importantly, she doesn’t want to come across as ‘easy’. Nevertheless, nonverbally communicate to her you’re not going to act like a wussy and desperately chase her.
Nonverbally communicate to her you’re not going to put her on a pedestal or seek her approval with money, gifts, or fancy dinners.
In short, nonverbally communicate to her you’re not like the guys she’s used to dealing with, by being a challenge to her and playing “hard to get” yourself.
This gives her a reason to chase you. Because, she will be crazily mad over you. [Read how to make a girl chase you]
The fact that you find her attractive and are interested in her, but will not WIMPISHLY act like most guys means you’re a good catch and this boosts your chances of getting her. This makes you attractive in her eyes and she will want you more strongly.
So, to conclude…
…it is not acting DISINTERESTED in a girl that makes her want you. It is rather your interest in her, and most importantly, how you react to her RESPONSE that makes her not only want you, but want you STRONGLY.